Nowadays I use my running time as my meditation time. When I am running, I can completely free from any left brained thoughts.
Three days ago during I was running, I had a strong feeling of my mother in Japan. I actually felt my mother’s energy right in front of me. I started communicating with the soul of my mom. What I received was like this.
My mom’s time is coming close. In case I cannot see her again before she goes back to the spirit world, she would completely understand. She would keep on loving me no matter what. She would keep on sending me love all the time. It does not matter where she is, either in Japan or in spirit world. She is proud of me and will be so, all the time.
I instantly knew that something happened to my mom. My mom and I seldom talk on the phone, but we communicate via email from time to time. I emailed her, asking if everything is okay with her. I haven’t received a reply from her until today.
She said in her email that she became very sick three days ago and had been staying in the hospital since then. She had been very sick that she could not reply back to me. This is her second time for hospitalization. Ironically she was hospitalized on the same day of the last year. She had stayed 2 weeks in the hospital last year. We don’t know how long it would take for this time.
After I read her email, I cried for her for several hours.
With crying, I checked the air plane tickets. I can go visit her during my daughter’s autumn vacation for 1 week. The tickets were available, and the prices were not outrageous at this time of the year. I can go see her. It is up to me. But still, I am very reluctant to go see her.
I have some unsolved issues with my mom.
My husband proposed me for marriage in Arizona in July 2007. When I reported it to my parents, my mom got so mad at me. She didn’t like my marrying to an American and moving to America. My mom loved me so much, and she could not handle on losing me from her sights. With her anger, she had stopped talking to me since then.
My husband visited me in Japan and we married in Japan in March 2008. My mom refused to meet my husband. At the last moment, with my brother’s and my dad’s persuasion, my mom finally accepted to meet my husband. My mom liked my husband very much because my husband is a good-hearted and trustworthy man. My mom’s anger was nothing to do with my husband. No matter how sincere my husband is, she would be against of our marriage anyway.
After my husband went back to America, my mom went back to her attacking mode, completely ignored me for almost 9 months until my moving day to America in December 2008.
For about 17 months since July 2007 to December 2008, my mom had ignored me. I had lived close to my parents’ house, within 15 minutes walking distance. Before, I used to visit them often. I used to talk on the phone frequently. My parents used to take me to a restaurant or a fun event regularly. But not anymore. When I visited their house, she didn’t let me in. When I called her on the phone, she hung up the phone. There was one time when we had a dinner together before I moved to America, my mom and I ended up a big argument, yelling and hurting each other.
My parents came to see us in Las Vegas in July 2011, and it ended up with the same result. My mom and I got a huge argument. I could not even see them off at the airport. Since then, I haven’t seen my mom.
There is a deep and big gap between my mom and me. I really don’t know if I will go see her in Japan or not.
three wisdom 