When I was young, I was very short tempered. I used to easily get mad. While I was mad, I could not control my mouth and said something unnecessary to the other person. When I came back home, I would regret for saying that to the person.
My dad knew about my short temper. He admitted he was also short tempered in his younger days. He had same experiences as I did. He would regret after he said something to others.
He shared his secret technique with me. It goes like this.
Whenever I am about to say something from anger, I should swallow the statement before I say it out. Then, I should leave the place for a moment. I should go somewhere away from the person, and take a deep breath several times until I fully calm myself to the natural state. After coming back home, I should talk about it to somebody whom I can fully trust. I should then ask for their advice if the remark is necessary to convey or not. If the remark is necessary to convey, then on the following day, preferably in the morning, I should convey the remark to the person, in a calm voice tone, with a gentle smile on my face. I should make the remark concise and to the point.
The important thing is not to say anything in an anger state. When we say something from anger, we tend to slip the tongue. We might hurt somebody unexpectedly.
It is a good idea to marinade the angry statement for one night. The following morning, the marinated statement gets more reasonable than the previous day. But when we say something to the person in a calm state, then the statement can become an assertive statement. An assertive statement brings to a win-win situation for both parties.
From my personal experience, short temper will be improved as we age. I can say that because my short temper has been much improved than before. I am not still perfect, but I am at least trying not to say anything from anger. So, if you are still young and suffering from short temper, please rest assured it will calm down as you go through years and experiences.
♬ Any feedback? (^^♪
three wisdom 