I received an email from my mom. Every time when I hear from her, I get scared. I pray first that the email will be good news, before I open her email.
My mom was not good at communicating through written words. Especially right now, her email contains lots of typos and wrong grammar in sentences. It is understandable. She must have suffered from being tired and affected by chemicals from medications. In order to fully understand, I need to focus on what she really wants to say through her words. Otherwise, I easily get confused.
It was an update of my parents’ health situations.
As for my mom, the doctor decided not to give a chemotherapy for my mom. She didn’t write in details, so I don’t know about the exact reason of the doctor’s decision. I think it will be good for her to recover without a chemotherapy.
As for my dad, the doctor decided to have my dad to be hospitalized on July 19th and to have a surgery on his stomach cancer on July 23rd.
My mom told me not to worry about them. She said, no matter what will happen to them, they will face to it. She also said, no matter what happens to them, do not blame myself.
Every time after I read her short email, I think of my mom and dad. I end up sobbing. My tears won’t stop until my eyes get fully puffy and swollen.
Her today’s email somewhat sounded like a good-bye letter. I need to get ready for the day when they depart.
Same as always, all I can do is to pray for them and send all the positive thoughts and firm belief. My parents deserve to receive necessary love and support whenever they need. They are very nice and kind people. They have generously supported family members and others all in their lives. They will be fine.
***
I think of one of the quotes of Zhuge Liang.
我が心、秤の如し。 人の為に低昂する能はず。
My boy-friend whom I had dated during my university years used to tell me all the quotes of Zhuge Liang. Since then I’ve always respect and admire his wisdom.
I want to follow my heard to decide everything in my life. I want to stand firmly about my belief and decision.
♬ Any feedback? (^^♪
three wisdom 