My day went by so fast.
First, I discussed with my family about the date of my upcoming trip to Japan. My husband and daughter were supportive all the time.
We decided my trip date during my daughter’s school session. In that way, she will be fed for breakfast and lunch at the school cafeteria. My husband will talk with his supervisor about his work shift. If he can go to work little bit later and come back earlier than normal work shift, my daughter won’t need to spend all by herself at home. I decided to cook their foods for one week during the trip in advance and keep them as frozen, so that they still will be able to eat homemade foods every day while I am gone.
Second, I talked with the travel agency and reserved an airplane ticket.
Third, I made an online reservation for the hotel that is closest to my parents’ house.
By the time when these tasks were done, I already felt exhausted.
In the evening I talked with my parents on the phone.
There, I heard lots of information that I didn’t know.
My mom never told me how bad her health condition was. All I knew was she had a laparoscopic surgery for the colon cancer. I knew the surgery is an old-people friendly surgery. The smaller incisions enable the patients to have smaller scars and heal faster than that with open surgery. I thought the surgery went well for her. I was still wondering why she has to go through a series of chemotherapy treatments.
What my dad told me cleared up my questions. The doctor could not get rid of the cancer cell from the laparoscopic surgery because the cancer cells were scattered everywhere in her body. The doctor told my parents that if my mom does not take chemotherapy, her remainder life would be less than six months.
I was shocked to hear that. That was why my mom didn’t tell me any detailed information about the surgery.
My mom was reluctant with the chemotherapy. My brother and I wanted to respect my mom’s will about the chemotherapy. We both concern about the side effects from the chemotherapy. However, my dad strongly suggested my mom to take it. My mom always listens to my dad, so she had no option to reject the chemotherapy.
My mom already had the chemotherapy treatments twice. The first one was on July 23rd and the second one was on August 7th. Since the chemotherapy treatments, she started expressing her deep depression.
I mentioned about my personal opinion. My mom should follow her heart about the chemotherapy. She feels that the chemotherapy is affecting her in both physically and mentally. She wants to stop it. The only one reason why she cannot stop is my dad. He constantly suggests my mom to have it. He always threatens my mom by saying “or else“ that she will die soon, by the end of this year.
About my coming to visit them, my mom kept on asking me to postpone the trip until next year. From her voice tone, I could tell she meant it. My dad also asked me to respect my mom’s will about my visiting them. I decided to respect her will.
After I hang up the phone with my parents, I canceled my airplane ticket and the hotel reservation.
***
During the evening walk, I mentioned everything to my husband. He strongly suggested me to visit them. He would go visit them if he was in my situation. With hearing his advice, my heart was completely lost.
***
After came back from the walk, I called my mom again and told her I changed my mind. I told her I wanted to see them. My mom’s mind was set. She begged me not to come at this moment. She begged me to wait until next year, and come see them with my daughter. With hearing her determined voice, I again told her I would wait for next year. Then I hang up the phone.
***
Before going to sleep, I asked my family spirits to show me the right way for me to do about visiting my parents.
Should I visit them as soon as possible, without listening to mom’s will? Or, should I listen to my mom’s will and visit them with my daughter in next year?
♬ Any feedback? (^^♪
three wisdom 