I woke up at 5 am. I noticed myself crying out loud. My both eyes and cheeks were wet with lots of tears.
I was with my mom in my dream. I completely understood how my mom is feeling.
What I felt was real.
When I saw my mom last time in this March, I was shocked to see how skinny she got. She was aware of my being shocked. She told me she has lost some more pounds after the surgery. She now looks very sick with the bonny-skinny body.
She doesn’t want me to see her like that. She wants me to remember her as the way she was happy and healthy in her younger age.
She brought back my memories about my grandfather and my aunt. Both were my maternal side of family who already passed away. When they got really sick and stayed in the hospital at the last moment of their lives, my mom never allowed me to see them in the hospital. She always told me she wanted me to remember them as in a healthy looking, not in a very sick condition. It was my mom’s way of expressing her love to everybody, including her father and older sister and me.
Thanks to my mom’s effort, I still remember my grandfather and aunt in their good shape. Because I didn’t see them in a very sick situation, they always look young and happy in my memory. I appreciate my mom for that.
Now I totally understand what my mom wants me to do. She wants me to stay strong for not visiting her at this moment. She wants me to stand firmly about my decision.
***
There is no rights or wrongs in this type of decision.
Some people will blame me for not visiting my parents while they are very sick. They will go see their parents even their parents ask them not to come. That is their right decision.
As for me, I decided to respect my mom’s will. As long as she doesn’t want me to visit her in her sick condition, even I cannot see her at the death bed, it is our right decision.
People will say whatever they want about my decision. I made my mind firmly, that I am determined to my decision and my rightfulness.
Now I am back to strong. I have repaired my tear in my energy field.
Nothing can bother me. Nobody can hurt me anymore.
♬ Any feedback? (^^♪
three wisdom 