Last night when I was laying down on the futon mattress, I was thinking about my mom’s current situation; constipation for many days. The doctor asked her if she wanted to take one-night hospitalization as a mitigation measure of constipation. My mom firmly showed her desire on not to be hospitalized in any way. She would rather stay home.
I prayed to my spirits and angels for their support about my mom. During my prayer, my mind’s eye showed the image of my Reiki teacher’s smiling face. At first I was shy about contacting him, because I don’t keep in touch with him frequently. The last time I communicated with him was in 2014 about Reiki teaching. However, my mind’s eye kept on showing the image of him. Besides, I did need any helpful support by all means. I thought I should follow my guides to contact him.
So, I emailed my Reiki teacher. I explained my situation visiting my parents in Japan and my mom’s suffering from constipation for many days. I asked him if he could send the distant Reiki to my mom. I added my mom’s full name and birthday and location where she is right now.
After send him the email, I felt good and fell asleep right away.
***
This morning I naturally woke up at 6 a.m. For some reason, I was feeling good. I am glad I didn’t wake up sick like yesterday.
After I did a morning prayer to my spirits and angels as usual, I checked my emails on my cell phone.
The first email caught my eyes was the reply from my Reiki teacher.
He said he already sent my mom the distance Reiki at 9:50 p.m. last night. I quickly replied back to him to thank him for his kindness.
I went to kitchen and prepared breakfast for my parents. Then I went upstairs to check my mom in their bedroom.
***
My mom was already awake, laying down on bed. When she noticed me, she sat up on bed and asked me to give her a back massage. She said, as the side effect from her many medicine pills, her spine area gets hurt and numbed. She said my massage was helpful to calm the pain down.
While I was giving her a gentle back massage, she shared her good news with me.
She had a wonderful surprise last night. She had a bowel movement three times during night.
It started around 10 p.m. When she got the nature call and went bathroom, she could release a healthy stool. She was amazed about it. Then, the second nature call occurred around 2 a.m. She released some hard and small stools like that of a bunny. The third and last one occurred around 7 a.m. She released a watery one. Although it was that of diarrhea and painful, it was helpful for her to release any unnecessary items from her bowel.
I listened her good news with tears. I was amazed. My Reiki teacher sent my mom the distant Reiki on 9:50 p.m. My mom’s bowel movement started 10 p.m. I definitely believe this was thanks to my Reiki teacher’s support. I mentioned about my Reiki teacher to my mom. She fully believed the power and thanked him.
***
Today would be a busy day for my parents. This morning at 9:30 a.m., my dad had two doctor’s appointments at the local hospital. One was a checkup for the broken bone of his right wrist, and the other one was a regular checkup for his diabetes and a follow-up checkup of the stomach cancer surgery of last summer. And this afternoon at 2:30 p.m., my mom had an appointment for her hyperthermia treatment.
They originally wanted me to escort them to all of their appointments, but they changed their minds. They saw me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by everything, so that they offered me to spend a relaxing day by myself. They were right. I needed my alone time by now. From my arrival on Sunday night until now, I didn’t have my own alone time at all. I appreciated my parents’ thoughtfulness and gladly accepted their offer to take one full day off for myself.
***
I didn’t feel comfortable about my mom’s appointment of a hyperthermia treatment. As far as I have heard from the doctor and the nurse, this is a harsh medical treatment. It is a radiation cancer treatment and almost equivalent to a chemotherapy. This treatment might be help for a patient if s/he has enough physical strength to fight with such a harsh treatment. However, for a patient like my mom whose physical strength is at very low level, this treatment will be nothing but harmful.
From the previous experiences, my mom already knew this treatment would not be harmful, instead of helpful. Besides, the doctor and the nurse advised my mom to stop taking this treatment. When they advised, my dad was right next to my mom. Unluckily for my mom, my dad is very stubborn on his belief. Since he believes the hyperthermia treatment would be helpful for my mom, he insisted my mom to keep having the treatment. He ignored my mom’s desire to stop it. He also ignored the medical advice from the doctor and the nurse. He would not listen to anybody else.
Originally my dad was planning to stay at home alone in the afternoon. Their house helper was planning to escort my mom to the clinic for the hyperthermia treatment. I whispered to the helper and my mom and gave my advice. They should leave the house, but instead of taking the hyperthermia treatment, cancel the treatment and have some tea at a cafeteria to kill time, then come back home pretending she has had the treatment.
However, my dad all of a sudden changed his mind in the morning. He said he would go with my mom for the hyperthermia treatment. We didn’t know why my dad changed his mind.
Later on that night, I found out the reason why my dad changed his mind. The nurse told me what happened last night. The doctor called my brother and advised to cancel my mom’s hyperthermia treatment. My brother relayed the advice to my dad. The phone call fueled my dad. It made my dad much more stubborn than before, and that was why my dad decided to go with my mom to witness my mom would have the treatment.
***
I left my parents’ house right before they left for their appointments. I walked to the beach. There, I walked barefoot on the beach sand for a good one hour. It was beneficial for me. It was relaxing and calming. I could earth my overwhelming emotions to mother earth. It was a meditation as well as a conversation with my spirits and angels.
I was surrounded by warm and gentle energy. With the support of my spirits and angels, I focused on my dad’s soul with my unconditional love to him. I started feeling my dad’s emotions as if they were mine.
One possibility is that my dad might be suffering from mental sickness. He is the one who stays with my mom all the time. He has seen my mom’s getting sicker and sicker. He has witnessed my mom has gone very close to the death line many times so far. He has been feeling stressful and uneasy about my mom’s dying process. He has been feeling lonely and sad. He knows himself as useless when it comes to offering a physical support for my mom, as he is getting weak too. He is not good at expressing all his emotions with words. He does not have anybody to listen closely to him. Being stubborn and complaining for everything might come from his anxiety.
Another possibility is that he might have a senile dementia developing little by little. If he can receive the appropriate support for his mental health, he might get better in his mental state. For example, it might be helpful to have a professional counselor listen to my dad about all his concerns and worries and give him a warm big hug and gently stroke his back. I hope somebody in medical team will notice my dad’s mental sickness and treat him in an appropriate way.
During this trip, my dad yelled at me many times. There was one time I thought he was trying to punch me from anger. He scared me a lot. All of these might be his way to release his stress. It might be his way desperately asking me for support. Maybe I should put little more efforts and time on my dad, trying to listen to him, comfort him, and help him to release his hidden emotions.
***
After this meditation and conversation with my spirits and angels, I felt much better.
I had lunch at a Teppanyaki restaurant. I ordered a grilled yakisoba and ate it there. I ordered a grilled okonomiyaki to-go for my parents for their dinner.
***
In the evening after my mom came back from hyperthermia treatment, she looked very sick. After she ate some of Okonomiyaki, she wanted to take a bath. In the dressing room, she lost her conscious a couple of times, so that I needed to be very cautious by constantly supporting her body.
I instantly knew her getting very sick was due to the hyperthermia therapy that she had today. The nurse told me this therapy was too strong for my mom and drains her physical strength. The nurse told me about last Friday and Saturday. My mom had the same treatment on last Friday. When she came back, she got very sick. She spent a tough night from Friday night to Saturday. She could not sleep due to the severe nausea. She threw up many times but nothing came out because she could not eat anything since Friday morning. My mom asked the house helper not to call the ambulance. The helper called her office, and her office arranged some more people. The nurse came and two other house helpers came. They all stayed until late that night. One helper stayed the night at my parents’ house in case of their emergency need. The nurse thought my mom would pass away on that night. I was on my way to their house in the airplane. I didn’t know about this until I met the nurse. My parents didn’t tell me about that night. Maybe they didn’t want me to worry about my mom.
***
My mom wanted to lay down in bed around 7 p.m. In bed, she asked me to stay with her for a while. Her conscious was on-and-off. She started crying and saying thank you to me many times. Also she apologized me for her being mean in her younger years many times. All of her doings seemed that she was about to die on me. My mom saw people off at their death bed many times in this life; my dad’s mom, my mom’s dad, my mom’s older sister, my mom’s older sister’s husband, and our dog. My mom told me right before they cross the death line, all of them said “thank you” to my mom in their most gentle voice tone. The memory came back to me. I thought she was in the same situation about to cross the line.
I asked my mom not to go yet. I asked my mom to see me off on my return trip to America on Sunday. She heard me. She nodded to me. She put a smile on her face and told me “okay, I am not going tonight. I want to see you off on your back to America on Sunday.” Then she fell asleep.
***
I went downstairs and laid down on the futon mattress. I was overwhelmed by my anger toward my dad. I wanted to go to him and yell at him about pushing my mom to the hyperthermia treatment today. I wanted to yell at him about his still smoking inside the house. But I didn’t do any of them. At least now I know my dad is also suffering from all the stress. I just wanted to go back to my American home where my husband and daughter are waiting for me. This trip is just so hard for me to go through.
three wisdom 