I watched the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. The story is based on the true story of a real-life friendship between Fred Rogers and journalist Lloyd Vogel.
It was a great movie. I got emotional because I just had a similar experience as Lloyd.
Lloyd had hated his father from what his dad had done to him. Luckily for him he could see his dad before he passed away. His dad’s sickness brought the family back together.
One scene of this movie was a timely topic for me. When Lloyd and his family gathered around his dying dad, Mr. Rogers visited the grieving family and told them like this.
“Death is part of being human.”
“Anything Mentionable Is Manageable” Quoted from the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.
I feel I was guided to watch this movie. I actually feel it was my mom who guided me to this movie. Mr. Rogers’s words was what I needed to hear at this moment.
***
In the evening I made two phone calls to Japan.
The first call was to the City Hall in my hometown in Japan, regarding how I can request an official document of 戸籍謄本; Certificate of Family Register I called my dad. On our last conversation of yesterday, he asked me to send him some 戸籍謄本. The city hall representative sounded like a young woman. She was informative and helpful.
First, she suggested me to contact the place of submission. There are some different types of the forms. I should make sure the purpose and exact name of the forms, and the required quantity to avoid any possible mistake in the document form.
Second, the representative suggested me to ask my family to request the form on behalf of me. The procedure of requesting the document from a foreign country takes many days. I can request the form from a foreign country, but I cannot request the City Hall to send the documents to my dad’s house. The city hall can send the documents back to the sender only. So in my case, I will need to send the request form to the City Hall in Japan first. The City hall will send the document to me in America. Then, I will need to send them to my dad in Japan. A letter usually takes 10 days to be delivered via air mail. So, it will take 30 days for us to deliver the documents to my dad.
After I finished the phone call with the City Hall, I called my dad.
I relayed the information that I got from the City Hall to my dad. He said he will ask his accountant.
My dad’s next sentences terrified me.
He said he needs the documents because I will need to sign the official document to discard my mom’s inheritance. My dad will take the inheritance from my mom all to himself without sharing with my brother and me. By law my dad is qualified to receive 50% and my brother and I are qualified to receive 25% each. Previously my dad never asked me to discard my inheritance right. However, today he asked me to discard my right.
My dad told me another shocking news. He already spent more than $100,000 for my mom’s death, including a tomb, a 戒名, a funeral service, and a set of Buddhism ceremonies.
I didn’t say anything to my dad. I said all the nice words to my dad and hung up the phone.
After I put my phone down, I lost my words for a while. I was shocked.
I thought my dad as a person of full of responsivity and fair. I was shocked he decided to take my mom’s inheritance all to himself instead of sharing with family.
My mom would not like everything my dad did for my mom’s death. She wanted to make everything as minimum. She wanted to be kept her ashes in her favorite temple for the first 10 years and discard after that. She didn’t want to be buried at the graveyard. She is probably shocked to know the huge amount that had spent for my mom’s death.
I need to know my best answer about the inheritance. I want to receive the 25% as my birthright. I know my mom wants me and my brother to receive the 25%. But how can I tell my dad without making him mad?
Maybe Mr. Rogers’s words can be applied to this situation. “Anything Mentionable Is Manageable.” All I need to have is wisdom to talk calmly and nicely to my dad.
three wisdom 