I woke up feeling calm. In my dream I was meeting and spending time with several god’s figures. They were the Indian gods including Lakshmi, Vishnu, Shiva, and Ganapati. I am not familiar with the Indian gods, so I could not recognize all of their names. Among all the gods and goddesses, Ganapati was the friendliest one of all in my dream. He was my guide and interpreter to other gods. He gave me a gift to me right before my departure back to my physical world.
Then I woke up.
I don’t remember what the gift was. But the good thing was I felt energized coming back to my physical body.
***
As for today’s meditation, I did the guided meditation of Free Flow to Focus 21.
I asked about my mom. My daughter can see spirits. According to her, my mom is not close to me anymore. She has gone further up.
In the Focus 21, I could see my mom in spirit. She was very calm and peaceful. I was so happy to see her like that.
She conveyed the message like this.
She started talking about her last days. Her last days were tough on her. All the people constantly told her to hang in there (meaning don’t die). She had a fear for death. She was so scared to die. She completely forgot about the spirit world and that our souls don’t die. In her physical body, she believed she would be nothing after her death.
In such days, I came back to see her. What I told her was totally opposite from everybody. I told her to let herself release. I told her she could depart anytime on her own best timing and best way. She followed my advice at the last moment of her this lifetime. She went through the smooth transition back to the spirit world. She appreciates me for what I did to her during her last days. She encouraged me I should keep doing my good work on helping people in my way.
Then she told me not to worry about her. She is doing great in her realm, and she knows I am doing great in my current realm. She is just super busy right now.
She said she is very proud to have me as her daughter in this lifetime. She does not have any more advice to me. Before we end our meeting, she hugged me and gave me a whole bunch of healing energy. The energy was so powerful that I had sweat all over my body.
***
Right before my leaving Focus 21 back to my physical body, somebody told me this.
From now on, when somebody shows up on my right, the person is related to my paternal sides.
When somebody shows up on my left, the person is related to my maternal sides.
When somebody shows up on my back of my head, the person is related to my Navajo relatives.
When somebody shows up above on my head, the person is related to my family spirits.
***
I showed my gratitude to everyone who supported my mediation, and came back to my physical body.
***
Tonight on Cancer new moon, I ended up with arguing with my husband. My daughter was sad about our arguing. She went to my husband in the kitchen and spent one hour away from me. While I was waiting for my daughter to bed, one memory came back to me.
It was the memory of my 10-years old. I was the same age as my daughter. In that night, my parents argued about something. My mom came to my bedroom in the upstairs. She whispered to me that she would leave this house. She told me she has her best friend in Kyushu island. She asked me to come with her. I instantly turned it down, as my mom was not nice to me most of the times. My mom was sad about my rejection. She never left our house.
I was wondering why this memory popped up in my head at this timing. It might be my mom to send this memory.
If I went back to that night, I still think I would choose the same answer, as I never became close to my mom. What if I had chosen the different answer? What if I had left the house with my mom? My mom would have a tough time for a while to support us, but she might have had a different life ending.
***
I cannot change the past. All I can do at this moment is to live my life. All I need to do right now is to talk with my husband and make peace with him. So I did. My husband and I made a peace. We promised each other to communicate well for a better understanding.
three wisdom 