At night 9 p.m., I had a Zoom meeting with the inheritance accountant. It was our second meeting. Our first meeting was done through LINE phone conversation. This time on our second meeting, the accountant wanted to have a Zoom meeting so that we can see our faces.
It was beneficial on talking through Zoom by watching our faces, rather than talking on phone calls or exchanging emails. Our conversation went well and smooth. I explained my good reasons why I don’t feel comfortable in sighing the Agreement. He explained my dad’s good reasons why he wants to keep all to himself.
While I was listening to the account about my dad, I realized my anger toward my dad started melting away. My dad feels lonely and is overwhelmed by anxiety. He believes only money can protect him. Even though he has a huge amount of money, and that is enough to share it with my brother and me, he worries about money. Now I finally realized his perspective toward money and mine are totally different. How much I try to talk into my dad to understand my perspective, he will never understand. Even though I don’t understand his perspective and I don’t agree with his opinion, my compassion toward my dad overcame my anger toward him.
I told the accountant I would sign the agreement. He said he would arrange to send it within today.
Right before our conversation, the accountant mentioned about what my dad said. He felt sad for my not sending any offering to my mom’s alter during the Obon. I gasped. I almost forgot about Japanese traditional customs. Japanese people put a heavy value on the first Obon when soemboyd passed away. Aright after my mom passed away, I asked my dad if I am supposed to pay any cash to support the funeral or to send any offering to her alter. My dad at that time said I am her immediate family so I don’t need to worry about any of those. So, I got rid of all my concerns about sending offerings to my mom’s alter.
I thanked my accountant and ended the conversation. It was already close to 10 p.m., but I started searching about the offering gifts for the first Obon. I learned the incents and some sweets like cookies are the best options. I arranged to send three gifts to my dad. By the time when everything was done, it was already past midnight.
I was feeling good that I have chosen the peaceful option, which was to sign the agreement and walk away.
three wisdom 