Today the second lecture of Inner child therapy course came in. I worked on the second homework.
The first homework was to write about my parents. I wrote down about what I hated about them and what they did to me in a negative way. The second homework was the continued work from the first one. I needed to write if I have the bad habit inherited from my parents or not.
Recently my inner child of 14-years old strongly came in. I belonged to the swimming club at school. At first, I hang around with my 4 friends. The five of us were the popular students because we were one of the fastest swimmers. We acted like we owned the club. We started picking the other club members on, one by one, in a bad way. I never enjoyed doing anything cruel to anybody and started suffering from being a part of the bullying behaviors. One day I took my courage and told my friends to stop bullying. Then from the next day, they made me as their next bullying target. I could have left the club but I didn’t. I didn’t want to be a loser. So, even though it was very hard for me, I kept attending the club activity until the graduation.
Now I talked to my inner child. The little michan wanted my mom to listen to me, stand by me, and tell me to leave the club. I could never talk to my mom anything because my mom was occupied with my other classmate who was bullied at the club. The classmate’s parents were divorced and she was sent to her grandparents. My mom felt sorry for her and would visit her house every day.
I hugged the little michan and told her that it is okay to leave the club anytime. I told her that she does not need to suffer from anything. I told her that it is okay to lose. The Japanese old saying says 負けるが勝ち. Sometimes losing is really a gift in disguise. Instead of cringing on to something, instead of being attached to something, just letting it go and moving on is easy and smart.
I thanked the little michan, because thanks to her, I finally could make a wise decision recently. Instead of being attached to a certain group of people, I decided to leave. And I am released and feeling light right now.
three wisdom 