I had a vivid dream this morning that I woke up with the clear memory of it. It was a dream of my dad. In my dream I was walking on the isle in the local grocery store in Japan. I happened to run into my dad. My dad told me that he had been in bed due to the very bad situation of sickness. He also told me he was at the very close line to depart this physical world. I felt sorry for my dad. I apologized my dad for not visiting him in Japan and not even calling him for the past three months. Then I woke up. I thought about the possibility to visit my dad in Japan within this month. On my second thought however, the idea was quickly wiped off. I have decided to follow my gut feeling on everything. My gut feeling obviously is reluctant the idea to get on an international flight, to have a long hour flight, to deal with the security check, and to go through all the transportation in Japan. But these are just one of the excuses for avowing the visit. The most reluctant factor for me to visit my dad is crystal clear. I don’t want to spend any time with my dad because I know he keeps touching my nerves constantly with whatever he does. I don’t want to argue with him. I don’t want to create any more bad memories about him. I want to keep the sacred distance from him. My dream probably came from my guilt feeling to my dad.
Now that I have started learning about the technique to heal my inner child, I understand everything happens for reasons. Recent events that touched my nerves are all related to my dad. I had a big argument with one of the insurance agent team members because her attitudes and wordings reminded me of my dad that I could not accept. Most recent event that annoys me constantly is my neighbor. He constantly opens his garage and sits there watching our house. He is a chain smoker and constantly smokes, which I hate to smell the cigarette smell. And he constantly coughs intensively, which I hate to hear his cough all the time. I know this man shows up to inform me of my inner child related to my dad.
Now what should I do about it? I meditated and asked my family spirits for advice. Soon, I received advices to clatter the old and unnecessary items and clothes. They told me once I organize the house and get rid of the unnecessary items, my energy field will be cleansed too, so that I will not get easily disturbed by outer conditions and other people.
three wisdom 