I need to work on the assignment for the therapy course as the due date of the assignment submission is set within 2 weeks after finished watching the lecture. The topic of this time’s assignment is anger. I meditated first, then started writing about the topic. But my mind has been wandering around here and there and I haven’t reached the goal where I want to head out. I thought optimistically that I already graduated from dealing with the emotion of anger. The idea made me feel good. Then I fell asleep at night.
I guess my family spirits wanted to say no to my thought of the previous night. I had a nightmare on that night.
In my dream I was traveling by a car with 5-6 people. The travel companions were the people whom I recently met for the job opportunity. We stopped by at a bento store. Just the same as my usual habit, I let other members go to the store counter before me. After all of them purchased their favorite bento and came back to the car, I went to the store counter. I ordered a Nori-ben special. The store person was an Asian Indian elder woman. She told me it was $11. When I open my wallet, I saw all I had in my wallet was $21 bills. So I gave the $21 bill to the store person and waited for the change. The female worker gave me back a pile of bills as the change, but the bills were written as Indian rupee. I told the worker that I could not accept the Indian money as I would not use it where I live (America), but the worker pretended that she didn’t understand English and kept on pushing the Indian money on to my palm. I looked back in the car expecting my team members would come and help me, but nobody was watching me. They were busy eating their food. I was so angry at the worker and at the team member that they didn’t help me. Then I woke up.
Even though I woke up uncomfortably from the content of the dream, I instantly knew it came from the love of my family spirits. They just wanted to show me that I still have to deal with my anger issue. I get angry when I expect somebody to help me but it turns out they don’t.
It happened many times while I was very young. Nobody helped me and I needed to deal with it all by myself. I thanked my family spirits for showing it, and I went to see myself of my younger days. I will need to work on the healing of myself many more times as the scars are deeply hidden and rooted.
three wisdom 