It was a very long day.
In my dream, my husband’s late cousin visited me. He told me that I would receive a chunk of money soon. Then I woke up. I grabbed my cell phone to check the time, the alarm went off. It was 4:30 a.m. that I set to get up in order to attend the monthly online training.
Then I noticed the red mark on my phone recording. It showed my brother’s cell phone number. He called me and left a voice message at 10:04 p.m. of last night. I usually switched my cell phone to airplane mode at 9 p.m., so I didn’t notice the phone call.
His message was short to notify me of our dad’s departure. At first, I though how I should explain that I cannot go back to Japan right away. I could, if I really want to attend my dad’s funeral, but I still have been suffering from the trauma. I feel scared to Japan and Japanese people from my last trip to Japan.
I decided to wait until my husband gets up. I wanted to get my husband’s advice. I didn’t feel like to attend the palmist training. I wanted to focus on my thoughts to my dad.
Then the phone rang. It was from my brother. I picked up the phone. At first, I felt scared to talk to my brother because we haven’t talked for four years since my mom’s departure. My brother’s voice was calm and sounded fine. I didn’t feel any aggressive energy from his voice. He said he doesn’t mind if I don’t go back to Japan to attend my dad’s funeral. He said he still remembers the procedures that were done for our late mom, and he would take care of it. I felt relieved that I don’t need to go back to Japan.
Toward the end of our conversation, when he started talking about our dad’s inheritance, his voice turned to aggressive and frustration. My dad had hired one accountant. The accountant lives close to my dad’s house and knows a lot about my dad’s financial situation because he was the one who dealt with my late mom’s inheritance procedure. My brother said he doesn’t like the accountant because he was not supportive to my brother. My brother said what happened to him last year when my dad gave some money to his 3 kids. When I heard my brother’s angry voice toward my dad’s accountant, I felt uncomfortable. Then we ended our conversation.
After the phone conversation with my brother, my husband woke up. We went for a morning walk and I shared what just happened to me with my husband. After my husband left for work, I had some alone time until my daughter wakes up. I talked to my dad’s soul and offered some O-Kyo, Japanese mantras, wishing him for his safe trip back to his spiritual homeplace.
I cried for my dad throughout the day. I tried to get some sleep but I could not. I spent longer time than usual on focusing myself. I took more time on jogging on the treadmill, having a sauna, and taking a long bath time.
In the night at 9 p.m., I had an appointment with my palmist teacher. I wanted to talk about my feeling toward my late dad. I wanted him to confirm it is okay that I don’t go to Japan for my dad’s funeral. Even though I made my decision, I still suffered from guilty feeling. Also, I wanted to have some advice about the inheritance. I wanted to claim my lawful right to receive my portion instead of just accepting what my brother offers me, that will be unfair amount. During the conversation I decided to look for an attorney who is spiritually connected with me and willing to support me. Also, I decided to tell my brother my honest feeling and desire with the reasons why I want to pursue my lawful portion this time. After the conversation, I felt relieved. I shared my conversation with my teacher to my family. My husband, daughter, and I had a good conversation. We didn’t notice that we chatted for a long time. It was close to midnight when we finally finished our conversation and went to bed.
three wisdom 