At night I had a field training from the team leader. I went through some uncomfortable experiences from her for the last couple of weeks. I talked to her from my heart about my honest feeling. I did my best to talk to her calmly and objectively, but it turned her fighting mode on. She continued arguing with lots of excuses in her furious mode. I felt like I was talking to a reptile that does not have human emotions. After we ended the training session, I was exhausted.

I calmed myself and did a guided meditation. I had lots of useful advice and messages from my family spirits. I realized that these types of fights and arguments are happening everywhere. It does not happen only to me. The team leader and I might share something in common, but we are very different in our way of thinking. I am satisfied with what I have at this moment. I am not a material person. I don’t need to have any luxurious items or to eat out at a luxurious restaurant to make me happy. I don’t live in a small town where the living costs are high. On the other hand, she likes a luxurious life. She is a material person who needs lots of items to make her happy. She lives in a big city where the living cost including the housing is high. She will never be satisfied with. She needs more and more, even though she already makes lots of money. Maybe she sees everybody as a $$$ mark to make her profit.

I thought I understand people are different, but I guess I don’t fully understand yet. If I fully understand there are people who have completely different way of thinking from me, dealing with those people should not bother me at all. In reality, I was bothered by the team leader a lot.

My family spirits told me that first, I can start to fully understand the differences. Second, I should allow and accept the differences. My family spirits showed me how. If I can see things from the team leader’s point of view, using my imagination, I might be able to see why she is so obsessed with money. She recently got divorced and became a single mother of three children. She might be overwhelmed by the thoughts that she has to make a lots of money to raise her children and to keep living in a luxurious house in a big city. I have to admit that it is still hard for me to allow and accept the differences. But I have to admit them in order to make peace with them.   

The other day I listened to the lecture provided by the instructor at the Homeopathy school. He shared his private marriage life experience. In this past February, he got Omicron variant. He had a high fever and coughs. 

My family spirits asked me to focus on my preferable reality.

I thought about my preferable reality. I want to have a peaceful environment. I don’t want to have a strained relationship with the team leader. Even though I don’t totally agree with her way of thinking and she doesn’t agree with my way of thinking, I want to respect each other’s different way of thinking and admit and accept. I want to keep learning from each other and respecting each other.

I keep hearing the voices from my family spirits. Everything is going well. Everything is good.

Always remember that the outer environment exists for me as a mirror. When I smile, the outer person smiles. When I am happy and positive, the outer person reflects my happiness and positivizes. When I completely believe everything goes well, the outer environment turns out good as a reflection. I am creating the outer world. I am fine. I am happy. I appreciate everything and everybody to reflect my emotional status. I choose to be happy. I choose to be positive. I choose to have the helpful relationship and positive environment. Everything starts from my thought. So, I pay attention to my thoughts.

I was visiting my late dad-in-law in my dream. He was happy and welcomed me with his big smile and hug, which he always did to us every time when we visited him while he was alive. He had two log houses. He said he built them by himself. He said it was easy for him. He just needed to have an image of what he wants and the next moment it is right there for him. He had many visitors who wanted to learn from him. The visitors were all young people. They all call my late dad-in-law as Dad. When they saw me, they automatically called me as their sister. We were all belong to one family. My dad-in-law was busy teaching and sharing everything he knows. He seemed to be very happy at his current place. I am happy to see him again and know him being busy and happy.

For the last could of days, I had been stressed out about the team leader and I suffered from having a nightmare. I am glad today I finally slept well and had a good time with my late dad-in-law.

I found a good size of a Japanese cucumber in our backyard garden. It was the first harvest in this season. I thanked the plant and brought back the cucumber.

I cut off the both ends, and with using the cut ends, I rubbed the cut part of the cucumber together to get rid of bitterness.

I thought I did preparation of a cucumber well, and I tasted it. OMG, it was still bitter. I put it in my Nukazuke container and wait for a couple of days.

I found one American bank that they offer a foreign currency account. I called the bank and asked several questions. The operator was a man and he listened carefully to me and answered all my questions. So I opened their foreign currency account. The information he shared with me was like this.

In order to open a foreign currency account, a customer has 2 options. To transfer the fund of $2,500 USD immediately or to receive a fund through the international wire transfer. I chose the latter option. They don’t charge the wiring incoming fee. They charge the monthly maintenance fee that is 0.25% monthly, which accumulates 3% annually. The monthly fee is automatically deducted by the bank at the beginning of each month. When a customer receive JPY to the foreign currency account, it stays as the foreign currency. The monthly fee is deducted as the foreign currency. When a customer transfer the foreign currency to USD, the exchange rate is less than 1% and the wire transfer fee is $25. I thought they are good conditions.

In the evening I talked with my dad. I explained about my new foreign currency account and the benefits. But my dad was reluctant with using a brand new bank. He asked me to use the previous bank because the money was sent without any issues. I do understand what he means. He doesn’t want to deal with any possible trouble with a new bank. So I agreed with him to use the previous bank. All in all I appreciate my dad to still think of me and his kindness.

In my dream one woman showed up and kept on telling me Maria. She repeated the name of “Maria” so many times. Then I woke up.

I know what this dream means. It was a message from my late mom.

Last night during the meditation, I was thinking about my mom. She acted her role as a mean person to me while she was alive, but she is actually a kind soul just like Maria. She was not a Christian while she was alive, but I know she uses the name of Maria as a representative of a person who helps somebody with her unconditional love.

I have to fully admit my mom was a savoir who supported me in strengthen me. My life would have been easy if my mom was nice and kind to me. But she was not. Now she is back to the spirit world and keeps telling me that she had loved me from her heart. She doesn’t remember some of the mean words that she threw at me. Her being mean to me appeared a disaster for me while I was young, but I gradually start understanding that all the mean people are actually a blessing to be provided to me so that I can realize my bad aspects that I need to work on.

Tonight I had an argument with my team leader. I don’t agree with her way of thinking about certain things and I thought she is a hard headed and stubborn person. But maybe, she is the same way as my mom. She came into my life as a gift from my family spirits. She irritates me a lot. And I have to admit maybe, I have the similar personality as her. She exists for me to show her stubbornness as a mirror. I don’t want to admit, but maybe she is. So, I guess I have to appreciate her on everything that she irritated me and annoyed me.

I am in the process of learning Inner child course. My family spirits are happily providing me everything I need to heal my inner child. Once I fully admit that her bad aspects are just a mirror of my bad aspects and possibly my emotional scars, I will be in the next step, which is to work on the parts and heal. Then, she will never bother me again. In other words, I won’t be irritated or annoyed by her anymore even if the exact same thing happens to me.  

Recently I talked with my dad every day for 3-4 days straight. He sounded happy to hear from me every day.

I invested lots of my time to find the information on how I can receive Japanese yen without exchange to USD from my dad. As one of the processes of researching, I posted my inquiry on Facebook. Some people kindly shared their personal experiences with me. They still have their Japanese bank accounts even after they moved out to a foreign country. They told me their bank knows about that and still allows them to keep their account as active. With their advice, I called the Japanese bank that I used to have the bank account with them to check if my account is still available or not. The bank teller confirmed that the account is temporary stopped and that I need to be the bank in person and show the ID to reactivate it. I should have kept my account as active but at this moment I cannot do anything to activate.

Today’s message from the mediation was like this.

It was a reminder of the logic of an experiment and an observer. An experimental object has a neutral energy and absorbs the energy from an observer. The result from the experiment is always influenced by an observer. Same logic can be applied to anything in the daily life. When you talk to somebody, the person reflects what you expect to the person. if you observes the person in a positive and preferable way, the person will react according to your expectation. Remember this logic and pay attention to how you feel about other people. Other people exists for you as a mirror. If you treat them kindly and nicely with a beautiful smile, they are a mirror to reflect you, so that they will react what you are showing to them.

It is tough to fully admit that everything is a mirror from inside to outside, especially when we encounter a hard headed person. It is really tough. But everything happens for reasons. I have to admit that I have similarities with the person.

This year we had a monsoon started much earlier than usual. Our day started with grey sky of lots of dark rain clouds which is unusual in our area. Around noon the clouds cleared up. My husband and I went for a walk under the strong sun. When I came back from the walk, all of a sudden I suffered from the sharp pain in my head that I needed to lay down in bed. I don’t exact reason of my getting sick. It could be from the strong sun for the daytime walk, the low air pressure of monsoon, or the exhaustion of releasing lots of cleansing tears for the past three days. Maybe all the three could be the reason. Anyway I had a good relaxing sleep. At night around 7 p.m., after my long nap, I felt energized and regained energy back.

My dad called me in the evening. He said he would like to send me some money for this years’ gift money. I thanked him but asked him to wait until autumn. The current exchange rate is not great to receive JPY to USD. The exchange rate of last year around this time was 109 JPY for 1 USD while the current rate is 137 JPY for 1 USD. I honestly don’t feel like visiting Japan at this moment. It seems to be still hectic to travel abroad. I want to wait until next year or the following next year when everything calms down.

I continued working to answer the questionnaire for the homeopathy counselling. I shed lots of tears yesterday but I still have lots of more to come out. Even though it was a tough task for me to remember what happened to me in my childhood, I found it beneficial to analyze every single event because they are all connected to create the current me.