My dad called me in the evening. He said he would like to send me some money for this years’ gift money. I thanked him but asked him to wait until autumn. The current exchange rate is not great to receive JPY to USD. The exchange rate of last year around this time was 109 JPY for 1 USD while the current rate is 137 JPY for 1 USD. I honestly don’t feel like visiting Japan at this moment. It seems to be still hectic to travel abroad. I want to wait until next year or the following next year when everything calms down.

I continued working to answer the questionnaire for the homeopathy counselling. I shed lots of tears yesterday but I still have lots of more to come out. Even though it was a tough task for me to remember what happened to me in my childhood, I found it beneficial to analyze every single event because they are all connected to create the current me.

I decided to have a counselling with a professional homeopath. I feel it is the right time for me to work on completely reverse my diabetes.

I contacted one homeopath. I had watched her lectures couple of times. I feel she is the right one for me.

I contacted her and she sent me three documents: the instruction of the counselling, the signed agreements, and the questionnaire. I signed the agreement and submitted it to the homeopath. Then I took a look of the questionnaire. It contains lots of personal questions about my life. I thought the need to take some homeopathy remedies. There were 2 remedies that were shining to me. Hyoscyamus niger and Mercurius solubilis.

Then these remedies guided me to read through the old emails from my mom. So I followed the guidance. I started reading the oldest one that was sent from my mom in 2008 that was right after I moved to America. After I read all of my mom’s email, I fully realized how much she loved me but she was not good at expressing her love to me. While I was reading her email one by one, all the memories vividly came back to me. I started shedding tears quietly at first. Gradually, the sadness overwhelmed me and I could not hold my crying voice. I could not stop crying out loud. I just let my tears out. My daughter came to check on me. She quietly and gently hugged me. Then we went to the backyard. We sat down on the chair and enjoyed getting the gentle sun light. My daughter quietly listened to me talking about my late mom with rubbing my back gently. It was very nice cleansing. I thought I already got over the traumatic feeling about my mom, but it was still in me. My both eyes are swollen right now, but it is okay. I needed to let my leftover feeling out for healing.

In the morning I experienced uncomfortable feeling from the workplace. I cannot write down in details but the important thing was the event made me feel uncomfortable. As a student of Inner Child therapist course, I took this as a blessing because this event made me analyze the core reason deep inside of me to be irritated.

I meditated and analyzed why I got irritated by this event. Soon one of my experiences in my junior high school days came back to me. In the swimming club, at first I belonged to a bullying group. My friends would choose one club member at a time and called her out and bullied her. My friends were evil enough that they got rid of their stress out of our gentle club member. One day I told my friends to stop this bad habit. Then next day I became their target to bully. Luckily there were some other club members who knew me well and supported me.

This was my uncomfortable experience that once you become a hero who says the right thing, you will get attacked and become a target to be bullied. The old traditional way of a majority overwhelms a minority. However, the majority is not always right. Sometimes the minority, even only one person, can be the right one. The lesson is we should not always follow the majority. I always belong to a minority group. Sometimes I feel lonely and doubt my belief. But I need to keep in my mind that minority can win over majority. If I keep claiming the right      

My husband passed the exam that was required for his current job. We all were happy for his success and got relieved. We celebrated with a gold bottle of Champagne. I don’t remember when the last time I drank Champagne was. Maybe it was more than 20 years ago.

***

Our 3 electric outlets are out of order again. It happened at the beginning of this January. On the middle of January, we asked the realtor to send somebody to fix it. One old man finally showed up to fix it at the beginning of March. It took him 1.5 months to fix it. He fixed it, but within a couple of days, the 3 outlets went back to out-of-order. We didn’t notify the realtor right away because the old man was super glumly and rude. We didn’t want to deal with the same guy again. The 3 outlets of out-of-order are located in the kitchen. Without them working, we can continue our life but it is inconvenient. We decided to notify the realtor about our current situation. At first I was writing a text message, but I felt I should call her instead of sending a text. I needed to take my courage to call her. I am glad that I called her so that I could know her situation. I tend to text to somebody rather than call and talk directly, but I think I should change this habit. Talking in-person is definitely better than communicating with texts.

Recently I had been irritated with my own hair. I found my hair being white or damaged. I often found my curly hair everywhere on the floor. Every time I grabbed a pair of scissors, my daughter gently stopped me. She told me she liked my hair to be long. But today I could not resist my desire to make it short. So, I asked my daughter for a permission to cut it short. It might sound weird, but she is like my mom. I wanted to have her permission before I cut it.

I cut my hair by 20 cm length. Now I feel much lighter and refreshed. I am super satisfied with my short hair.  

In the evening I did a guided meditation. My guide spirit appeared in a old male figure. I felt the energy of my maternal grandma; Shintaro ojiichan. He was wearing a white lobe. He had a long white beard. I was happy to see him with his big smiling face.

I asked him some questions that popped in my mind and he gave me the answers. After our conversation was done, I felt a different energy. When I focused the new energy, I saw some visions that my late mom and I spent time together in Japan. She shared good memories of us. I felt she filled me with lots of her gentle love and hugged me in energy. I shed lots of cleansing tears with her.

She gave me a brooch of a green stone. It was a beautiful malachite stone. She told me this stone will protect me by sucking any negative energy from me. I appreciate her for the nice gift. It was great to have a conversation with her.

In the evening at 5 p.m., I attended the online Reiki gathering. Today our Reiki teacher shared the word of Kotodama again. He shared this teaching three times straight. He kept on saying this is difficult teaching for him to perform. Maybe it has some special meanings that he repeated this message three times straight. I should keep it in my mind and pay attention of my words.

In the morning I received a short horoscope reading session from a Japanese man. We chatted via LINE app, and he gave me a quick reading message. I was glad that I could talk with him before I pay him for the fee. His reading was far from what I wanted to know. Even though my expectation does not match, it doesn’t mean his reading ability is poor. It is just a matter if the vibrational energy will match between a reader and a client.

It was my best friend’s daughter’s birthday. Also, it was the first birthday of my mom-in-law’s Chihuahua, soon to be our dog Bucker.

I wonder how our dog is doing on navajoland. I feel Bucker came back to this Earth as a reincarnated soul of Alpha who passed away in 2006.

As soon as we move back to Navajoland, we will adopt him as our dog. Until then, we miss each other.