It was a cold day. I needed to keep a room heater on all day long. The sky had been grey all day long. I miss a sunny day.

In our area, we have many warm and sunny days even in winter. When I was young I always told people I love winter, but now I want to change my favorite season. I love spring and summer with warm and sunny weather.

For my first 10 years in this area, I hated the hot weather. But now, I am loving this weather and this area.

The year of 2021 is coming to an end.

This year had become one of my unforgettable year. In August, my dad-in-law passed away. Without his support, I would not have been here. He helped me a lot. He was definitely one of my VIPs in this life. After his departure, we went back to Navajoland four times. It was weird to be there without him. Every time when we went back, he was the very first one who came out from the house and waited outside to greet us. Two months before his departure, in June, my family spirits urged me to go to Navajoland and spend two weeks with my dad-in-law. My plan didn’t happen, because my daughter decided to attend the summer program at the local school at the last moment.

Four months from my dad-in-law’s departure, in December, my husband’s cousin suddenly departed. My husband devastated for this news because they were very close to each other.

The first six months of this year, I had studied at the Japanese mediumship school. I felt I am not belong to this group. I decided to leave this school.

Interestingly once I decided to leave this school, I reconnected with my Japanese Reiki teacher. He invited me to his Reiki share group in America and Europe. For the latter half, I had enjoyed connecting with his group where I felt their warm and welcoming hospitality. I never felt isolated in this group.

I wonder what kind of energy will bring me to in next year.

Recently for these past two weeks, I went through a series of communication with a newly acknowledged person. I enjoyed getting to know the person in the beginning, but later on I noticed I had some type of annoying feeling in communicating with this person. I felt hurt in the midst of communication. I noticed this person appeared to me in order to show me my inner child that I needed to heal. I am not good at participating in SNS. I feel isolated and hurt whenever I am with other people. I want to heal the inner child.

I did the guided meditation of hypnotherapy. I asked my family spirits to show me my past life that I was hurt.

The first scene that I saw was somewhere indoor. It was cold and the air was humid. Winter. Morning. I saw myself as a young woman of around 20 years old. The girl was wearing a kimono. The kimono was old and worn out. The girl was not wearing any shoes, just barefoot. I felt the cold and wet ground on my feet. The place was a cattle barn, but there were no cattle. The girl was all alone. The cattle barn was used as a jail or something.

The girl used to live in a small log house in the woods. She was spiritually gifted to be able to convey messages from spirits. She was originally beautiful with a long straight black hair. People started visited her and asked for advice. She became famous by word of mouth. Some people got jealous and entrapped the girl. She was arrested and put into jail even though she didn’t do anything wrong. She just helped people from her kindness.

The current-I went to the girl. I hugged the girl and talked to her. I know she got hurt by people.

My family spirits came for me and told me like this. They completely understand why I am people phobia. They told me it is totally up to me if I want to step forward and do something great or not. They honor my free will and my decision on everything. If I get ready for proceed, they will support me. If I want to end this life without going forward, it is fine. The right timing will come for me and I will intuitively know what to do. They want me to enjoy every single moment on this life. And I agree with them to do so.     

My daughter and I started our day with a long distance walk. We stopped by at the local library and had a good time chatting with one of my favorite librarians.

After we came back home, I received a phone call from the librarian. She told us to come back to the library to pick up some fresh produce. The community garden people just brought some green leafs from their garden to share.

I appreciate my current environment where the local people take good care of us. My family spirits whispered me to enjoy the current environment as much as I can. I know what they mean. This moment is only one time. I am cherishing every moment with every person whom I encounter on this area. Deep inside I know our moving day is coming very soon.

I did the guided meditation and tried to see the future me of 10 years from now on.

I saw the white light field. I thought I was in the spirit world. I asked my guide spirit if I had died in 10 years from now on. My guide spirit smiled and said no, then he showed me the next vision. I guess I was in the middle world before I proceeded to the future world.  

I was in my vision of 2031, 10 years from now on. The very first image I saw was myself on a horseback. The horse was female and the color was dark brown. I was 61 years old but looked much younger than the current me. I look more skinny but with more muscle. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and tight jeans, with a brown pair of boots. I looked much lighter than now, in actual physical body and energy. I was on our home site in Navajoland. My hair grew longer than now. I looked powerful and strong but also with gentleness and deep compassion. I didn’t look like Japanese, more like Navajo. I didn’t put on make-up on my face, which is the same as now. The future myself had high self-esteem.

My vision jumped to another scene. I was a speaker in front of a big audience. I was giving them an inspirational speech. I was an interpreter from spirits. I was a channeler from my star people. While I was speaking, my aura fielded spread enough to cuddle up all the audience with full of love and compassion. The audience was shedding cleansing tears. I was helping the audience to cleanse their energy and find their spiritual gifts so that they can fully live their lives as they want.

Because I finally reached to the place where I wanted to be, all my family spirits were smiling and happy for me. They were fully supporting me.

I had a powerful family supporting my job. My husband was working with me. I saw my daughter holding a baby boy in her arms. Right next to her, a man was standing supporting them.

I saw my family spirits and Navajo ancestors who had lived on the land standing there in a circle surrounding by our home site. They were working together to make a sacred barrier for us and keep us safe.

Lastly one of my family spirits proceeded to me and conveyed messages to me.

You have a great future ahead of you. We all are looking forward to having you and your family on this land and start your work there. We want you to rest assured and enjoy every single moment, because every single moment is full of our love to you. Don’t miss any of them. Enjoy your life and we all love you dearly.

It was a busy day as usual after came back from a trip. I cooked homemade food, washed clothes, and dusted off the entire house.

At the middle of night at 1 a.m., I attended Reiki online gathering. There were 36 attendees. The five of them including the teacher were Japanese. I always like this group. The people here is always open minded. I feel calm and peaceful energy from this group.

The meeting host asked the teacher if Japanese cerebrates Christmas or not. I am familiar with this question. Especially my mom-in-law asks me this question almost every year. My answer stays the same. No, Japanese traditionally don’t celebrate Christmas because most of us are not Christian. My teacher answered the question better than I do. He added the explanation why we don’t celebrate Christmas because we have only 0.3 % of Christians in Japan. This number can be varied depending on the data source, still the biggest number can go to up to 1%. In other words, 99% Japanese are not Christian and don’t believe Christianity.   

The teacher reminded us his Reiki motto. Go placidly in the midst of praise or blame. Other people judge you in many different ways, but the most important thing for you is to keep improving yourself no matter what. Don’t anybody judge you or affect you in your proceeding. This is always a good reminder for me.  

Today the teacher shared the Zen term Ishin-Denshi. The teacher gave the four Japanese attendees an opportunity to share our individual interpretation of this term. I shared my experience with my late dad-in-law. When I met him for the first time, I could not speak English well. My dad-in-law was the only person who had understood me somehow. He always told me language or words do not matter when it comes to communication. When we communicate from heart to heart, we are always able to understand each other through universal communication method such as telepathy. The teacher added this term is similar to Reiki energy. It does not need to be explained through words, rather, we can just feel the energy.     

On the last night of Navajoland visit, I finally slept soundly. I didn’t wake up in the middle of night last night. I woke up naturally at 6 a.m., feeling refreshed. It was really cold. When I peeked outside from the window, I saw snow falling down. The ground was covered by snow. We finished packing our staff in the car. The engine didn’t start right away. I tried twice, but it didn’t work. I asked my husband to try to start the engine on our third time. This time, thankfully it worked. It was sad to say good-bye to my mom-in-law.  

I usually drive the first three hours, but this time, I asked my husband to switch driving. All the way to the Interstate freeway, it was heavily snowing and the road was icy. On the Interstate freeway, the snow switched to heavy rain. The weather got completely well as we reached to our hometown area where it was not snowing nor raining.

***  

After we came back from the evening walk, we were startled by the door knocking sound. It was our neighbor. He was holding two packages and handed them to us. He said while we were away from our house, the two package were sitting in front of our entrance door. He worried that somebody might steal them. He also said the weather had been bad with high wind and rain. So he took the packages and kept them safe at his house for us. We appreciate his kindness.  

During this trip I didn’t want to go to the next big city for shopping. I knew it would be crowded and the traffic would get heavy and crazy everywhere from the people who wanted to do the last minute shopping for Christmas celebration. My husband agreed with me and we decided not to go to the city. However, yesterday while we were visiting my husband’s aunt, my mom-in-law mentioned that she needed to go to store to buy all the cat’s litter and animal’s foods.

I understand she always appreciates our support on taking her to shopping. On our last visit, we took her to some stores that she could purchase what she needed. The main items she needed were water bottles, dog foods, cat foods, and cat litter sands. Everything was bulky and heavy that she even could not move the item from the store shelf to the shopping cart. So, I offered her to take her to the stores and support her shopping. She was happy for our offer.

After shopping and walking here and there in the crowded stores isle by isle, I was exhausted. I could sense my mom-in-law wanted to eat at a restaurant for lunch, but I asked her gently that we would have something light at home.

Back at home, I warmed up some leftovers from last night and cooked some more hot food.   

We spent a relaxing time at my mom-in-law’s house at night. We enjoyed chatting in front of the fireplace as usual. Around 9 p.m., we went back to the trailer house. Since we were still hungry, we had light snack of chips and salsa. My husband’s phone rang. We got startled, because usually the night phone call is to announce something bad. It was from my mom-in-law. Some minutes after we left her house, her heart started beating fast in irregular pace.

When she came to our place, her face was pale. I quickly gave her Reiki and calmed her down. When I touched her chest, I could feel her fast beating pulse. I exactly knew how she felt. When I was single living alone, I often had this symptom. The doctor never found anything wrong in my health. They told me it was from anxiety.  

I know she really hopes that we will move there and live with her. I honestly don’t know when it will be. My husband and I both agree to move with a job there. We cannot move there without any job opportunity. I hope things will go smoothly at the right timing at the right situation for us to move there.

In the morning we visited my husband’s aunt. She just lost her son on December 14^th. When we entered her house and hugged each other, all of us shed lots of tears. After she shared the story when she found her son dead in his bed, we shared all the good story about him. Since he passed away in his own bed, the police needed to autopsy to find out the cause of death. They will need to wait for their turn and it might take up to 2 months or so. They don’t know when they can do his funeral.  

After we left her house, we went to the local grocery store.

After we came back from the store, we didn’t want to do anything. We were just exhausted about the feeling of loss.

My mom-in-law found some pictures of my husband and his cousin in their younger days. In the picture they were in the middle school. Since they were born only 3 months apart, they grew up like twin brothers and went to school together and attended in the class as the classmates. I love the picture that they looked happy to have each other. I feel his energy being so calm and peaceful right now. I am sure he departed peacefully, without any struggle or pain. Thank you Joe for your kindness. I feel blessed to have known you and spent time with you.

I woke up earlier than usual and cooked breakfast and lunch-to-go for myself and my family. We left at 8 a.m. for Navajoland.

The traffic was not heavy at all. We safely arrived at Navajoland around 4:30 p.m. I noticed the gas price was raised up to $3.68 per gallon, which is the highest for the last 12 years.

My mom-in-law looked so happy to see us again. We spent a peaceful night chatting in front of the fireplace at night.