Our trip to Japan is coming closer and closer. My daughter and I are so excited about it.

My daughter often talks about our last trip to Japan. It was October in 2017.

My last trip to Japan was very emotional for me, because I had not seen my parents for the previous seven years. On their visit in America in 2011, my mom and I had a very bad fight. Since then we stopped contacting each other for several years.

I still remember about my last trip. It started with tears and ended with tears. Very emotional trip.

I started crying in the car where my husband gave us a ride to the airport. I sobbed at San Francisco airport while transferring airplane. Even in the airplane heading to Japan, I could not stop crying most of the hours of the 12 hours flight. I sobbed at the airport in Japan right after we arrived. I sobbed in the shuttle bus. I sobbed in the hotel. I even sobbed in the aquarium during the fun dolphin show.

One day while I was chatting my mom at their house, my mom spitted out some mean words to me. It was completely normal to her. It was her habit. Instantly I reacted to her words. I got furious at her. I yelled at her and cried at the same time.

My daughter was the only one who stayed calm. She whispered to me in my ear and told me to calm down. She also mentioned my mom didn’t mean it. It was her old bad habit. I should just let it go. Without my daughter’s support, my mom and I would have ended up with a bad fighting again, which might have separated us forever.

***

Recently while my daughter and I were taking a long hot bath, she asked me a small favor.

Her small favor for me was not to fight with my mom during our upcoming trip in Japan.   

I told my daughter it would be up to my mom. In case my mom spits out mean wording again, I might react.

My mom said something mean even about my daughter while our last trip. I asked my daughter if she understood what my mom said in Japanese. My daughter nodded. She understood everything what my mom said about her and me. According to my daughter, those words were nothing to her. She just let go of it. And I should do the same.

This is what my daughter told me.

As of now, sadly, my mom has not changed her bad habit. She most likely will spit out some mean wording to me and my daughter during our upcoming visit. This will be a great opportunity for me to grow up spiritually. My mom won’t change but I can, with my will. I can change my reaction to her mean words. Considering the fact my mom loves me, her mean wording is not her true feeling. It is just her bad habit. By knowing the fact all the time, I can change myself. I can react to my mom with my unconditional love to my mom no matter what. Then, the relationship between my mom and I will shift upward.

I am thankful for my daughter to share her wisdom. I am learning a lot from my daughter. She is an old matured soul.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

Today my family and I finally took out our Christmas tree from the garage and decorated it.

In previous years we used to prepare for Christmas right after Thanksgiving Day. In some years even before Thanksgiving Day.

This year though, we had been so occupied with other chores that we didn’t have time to do so.

Still cannot believe the Christmas is right around the corner already.

Toward the end of this year, I thought back about this year.

This year has been treated us pretty nicely. The year of 2018 was definitely one of my great years in my life.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

This morning in my dream, my family and I were celebrating for our brand new house. It was our dream house. Three of us loved it.

First, I saw the house layout from a human’s perspective, by entering from the entrance door, as we usually do. Then, my conscious floated up-high and checked the entire house with an aerial view. I saw the house in the two-dimensional drawing as well as three-dimensional drawing. I enjoying checking our future house from many different angles. 

Unlike the common new house’s layout which is rectangle, our house was in a square. It contained four bedrooms.

It also contained an extra small room, which I could use it as a healing session room for my clients. Conveniently, this room has a bathroom and an entrance door from the outside.

Between the roof and the walls, there were many skinny windows to get the natural sunlight.

Its many windows made the air can naturally flows in and out.

In my dream my daughter was around 16 years old. It might indicate our dream house will be built seven years later from now.

There were two young boys in our house. They were around the age of early 20s. they both were handsome and friendly. They both were so happy.

I, in my dream, instantly recognized them as one of my family spirits. They also would live in our future dream house with us. I loved their uplifting energies.

***

I will hold on to this house image until it makes it happen in the reality.

I am looking forward to it.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

Two weeks ago, my daughter’s art club teacher encouraged my daughter to submit her artwork to the contest. The contest is presented by the organization in Tucson. The first prize winner will be awarded a $100 gift card to purchase their preferred art materials.

My daughter draw a picture of a girl riding a pony. The title of her artwork is Rosie, the Pony.   

In the past couple of days, her artwork went back and forth between my daughter and her art teacher. The teacher really liked her artwork and wanted her to win, so she gave some advice to fix some parts.

Today I went to school and submitted her final artwork. The teacher is going to submit hers along with other students’ artworks on next Tuesday.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

I have been reading Christiane Northrup’s book Mother-Daughter Wisdom. The author is an OB-GYN, or obstetrician-gynecologist. Through her job, she has experienced and witnessed many baby deliveries.

In her book, she talks about the gender preference in previous generation when baby boys were valued than baby girls. She shared one of her patent’s story. The patient had her daughter for her first baby. When she gave birth to her second baby and they found out the baby was again a girl, the first thing came out of her mouth to her husband was “I’m sorry, honey.”

The author is right on saying our old society, the male‐dominated society, values baby boys more than baby girls. The old society indeed had considered boys as the priority gender over the girls.

I was a bit surprised that was common in America, the country of freedom.

From my personal experiences, I can easily imagine the situation of the old society, the male‐dominated society. 

I was born to a unique family.

The recent ancestors of my paternal family was a famous samurai family. They were the leader of the area. Their castle still exists in our hometown area.

The older ancestors of my paternal family is the historical celebrity; Mr. Sugawara-no-Michizane. My paternal grandmother passed down the fact to my mom on her death bed. He was well known for his brilliant intelligence. He helped the government for their political issues. After he passed away, people have built many shrines all over Japan to enshrine him as a God of learning. The shrines are well known as Tenjin-san.

Because of such great heritage of the family, my paternal family valued a baby boy to pass down their family name.   

My parents luckily had their first baby as a boy.

In those days parents didn’t know the baby’s sex until they are born. When my mom gave birth to my brother as their first baby, she instantly knew her son would be taken away to her husband’s family, not physically but mentally. And her intuition was right. My brother was highly valued by my paternal family and relatives.

That made a clear sense to me, about the reason why I jumped into my mom’s tummy when my brother was only 4 months old.

My mom’s OB-GYN recommended her to abort me, which was a common procedure in those days when the next baby has come too soon. My mom refused the doctor’s recommendation and decided to have me.

While I was in her tummy, my mom would often talk to me to come out as a baby girl. My mom thought her husband’s family would not care for a baby girl.

Having listened to her wish, as my own desire as well, I was born as a girl.

While I grew up, I never got anybody’s expectation for my future life plan, especially from my paternal side family. My brother on the other hand, grew up with a huge expectation from our paternal family and relatives to become a successful man.

***

To be honest, when I was small, I had a complicated feeling and emotion toward the fact. I often wondered why being born as a boy and a girl is so different. I often felt jealous to my brother for being born as a boy.

***

Now that I grew old, I finally accept the fact. I chose to be born as a girl myself.

I consider myself as lucky to be born as a girl. It was actually wonderful to be able to live my life, stress-free and expectation-free from anybody.

In my personal opinion, being born as a girl is not bad at all. It’s great actually. There are so many benefits be born as a girl, and I am enjoying it and loving it.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

This is an update of the issue happened to my daughter and me on last Friday.

I set an appointment with the school principal this evening.

Right after my husband and I went into his office, he looked into my eyes and sincerely apologized for not replying back to me sooner. He was out of town for one week last week for the convention. After he came back home, his son got sick and needed to toke care of him on Monday.

Also he apologized for what happened to us on last Friday.

We discussed about the current issues and how we could change them into better situations. I shared my observations and opinions, along with ideas for the improvements. He was willing to change the procedure to prevent the similar tragedies for the future.

Our meeting went for about one hour. It was a fruitful meeting. I am glad our meeting went well.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

Back in 2005 and 2006, I had stayed for three months each at my in-laws’ house as their spiritually adopted daughter. Those days my dad-in-law was busy serving as a Navajo traditional peacemaker and traveling a lot. I would tag along with him and learned from him as his apprentice.

In such days, I met Richard. He was a good friend of my dad-in-law. His age was probably in between my dad-in-law and me. About 10 years apart from both of us. My dad-in-law always teased Richard and treated him as a dumb person. But I knew he was very intelligent and smart, pretending being a dumb.

Those days my dad-in-law’s younger son started talking about his dream. His dream was to marry me and build a family together. The majority people would laugh at him. I myself thought he was joking too. But only Richard was different from others. Richard continued encouraging my younger brother for his fulfilling his dream. I know Richard actually prayed for my younger brother. Richard used to tell me he considered my younger brother as his real brother.

With Richard’s encouragement, eventually my younger brother did his part of job; joined the military and started working. In 2007, he proposed me for a marriage. Next year in March 2008, we officially married in Japan. After eight months of immigrant visa procedure, in December 2008, I moved to America as his wife.

Richard attended to our Navajo traditional wedding ceremony in April 2009.

I still remember he told us on the wedding day. Richard said he believed in my husband for fulfilling his dream. He knew this day would come. He was so happy for us. His words touched my soul. 

***

Tonight we were informed Richard had passed away in this July. We don’t know how he passed away. We didn’t keep in touch with him for the last several years.

As a memory of Richard, I wanted to write about him. He was a good friend of ours. He was a big brother for my husband. I want Richard know that we were blessed to have had spent time with him and gotten to know him.

Thank you Richard for your continuous belief in my husband. Your belief was very helpful for him.

Have a happy life in the spirit world. I know you are in the safe place with your loved ones.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

I am still angry and upset about last Friday’s event at school.

Interestingly my daily calendar of today’s message is the right one for me at this moment. It says:

“All you have to do is identify what you want to do with it” — quoted from Ask And It Is Given Perpetual Flip Calendar created by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Therefore, I want to focus on what I want to do with the school about this issue.

I want the principal to contact me and do the right things.

The right things include the followings.

— As the school’s rule, all the teachers and faculties are required to inform the parent of a student to be picked up, before they urge the student to take the bus.  

— The school and the receptionist apologize to my daughter and me for her wrong procedure and for putting us into a very sad situation.

— The school never makes the same mistake again in order to secure the students’ safety and to avoid any confusions between the student and the parent.

I like my daughter’s school. I like the teachers, the faculties, and the principal. I want to keep having a good relationship with them, so that we can keep securing my daughter’s safety and happiness while she is in school.

I want to keep appreciating to school for keeping my daughter safe and happy.

I clearly visualized these visions and sent them to Universe. All should be well.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

Yesterday I went through an awful experience at school.

Every Friday afterschool, my daughter attends the club activity at the library. It is our routine that I pick her up at school. The students to be picked up wait for their parents in front of the school office.

When I arrive at the school, I didn’t see my daughter there.

At first I didn’t worry, because I knew kids would not come out right on time. Then after a while, a stranger girl came up to me and told me my daughter was on the bus. 

My daughter is a smart child. She won’t forget when I tell her to wait at the school. I quickly went into the office and ask about my daughter. The receptionist told me the same thing; my daughter was on the bus. I was about to run to the bus area, but the receptionist told me to meet my daughter at our local bus stop because the bus already took off.

I felt dizzy. I knew my daughter would be worrying about me. She must have been crying for me at this moment.

I run to my car and started the engine. Her bus just passed by in front of me. I followed the bus. It was tough for me to drive as my tears covered my eyes. I was worrying about my daughter.

At our local bus stop, my daughter got off the bus. As I guessed, she was scared and crying. I run to her and held her in my arms. I was scared and crying too.

***

According to my daughter, the school receptionist urged her to take the bus. Since the voice of the receptionist was scary and demanding, my gentle daughter just followed her instruction, without knowing what happened to me. That was why my daughter was crying, worrying about me.

I was furious at the receptionist. She should have called me before she urged my daughter to take the bus.

***

After I came back home, I called the school. The questioned receptionist picked up the phone. She claimed she didn’t see me there and that was why she told my daughter to take the bus.

She was wrong in two things.

One: I was there on time.

Two: in any situations, in case I am late for emergency reasons in the future, the receptionist needs to call me before she urges my daughter to take the bus.

The receptionist never admitted she was wrong. She never apologized to me. She kept on saying all kinds of excuses to protect herself. I asked to connect me to the principal. Unfortunately however, the principal was not in the office.

I emailed the principal about my request to school. It was a simple request. It is to call me before they urge my daughter to take the bus.

***

PS — I still haven’t received a reply from the principal as of Monday afternoon. I hope I won’t need to contact his supervisor; superintendent, or his further higher-ups. This is a critical safety issue not only for me but also for other parents. I hope the school will do the right thing to change their procedure, which they have to.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪

I had been thinking about having a haircut.

My favorite hair salon does not take an appointment. It means customers just walk in. We, customers, don’t know how long we have to wait for our turn. Since this area is called a retirement city for elderly people, old people are seen everywhere throughout the city. Last time when I went to this hair salon early morning on weekday, there were already some elderly people waiting in line before me, even though it was before the store opened.

***

When I woke up this morning, I saw heavy clouds in the sky. Today’s weather forecast showed a rain mark all day in this area. I instantly knew it was the best day for me to have a haircut at the hair salon. The rain or extreme cold weather would keep elderly people inside their house. I would not need to wait long for my turn.

When I arrived at the hair salon, I confirmed my guess was right. Since no customers was in the store, I was served right away. Luckily enough there was nobody after me, so the hair stylist took her time on me without any hustle. I loved the quiet moment.

This was my second haircut from a professional this year. The first one was in this January. In the middle of the year I thinned out the middle part of my hair. Since I could not thin out my hair with a well balance, I still regret for thinning out my hair by myself.

That brings my new resolution of next year. I am not going to have a haircut by myself next year. You might laugh at it, but I am serious.

♬ Any feedback? (^^♪