I could sleep 5 hours straight. I am still in the middle of centralization process and have been suffering from pain in back and butt area. I could not do much except for resting on bed.

I woke up early and left home with my husband to take care of the items of our to-do lists. They were mainly about my car. My husband diagnosed my car about the unusual high pitch sound of 2 days ago. According to him, a fan belt needs to be replaced. We stopped by at 4 car parts stores and received a quotation. It was good for us to check the price first, because their prices were different depending on the store. I still have intense pain so that I could not go to all the stores with him. I stayed inside the car and waited for him.

Now I am on the healing process of centralization. My male doctor at the physical therapy clinic didn’t tell me this process name, but he did mention about this healing process. The centralization is the healing process for sciatica. The nerve pain goes to the foot by peripheralization and on the healing process, the nerve pain comes back by centralization. I am in the middle of centralization and have a pain in the back area and right butt area. I cannot sit down on a chair nor keep standing up for even a short time.  

At least I am glad that I know this process. If I didn’t know about this healing process, the healing direction, I would have freaked out by now for having a pain in back area and butt area.

Last night, again, I tried to sleep without gabapentin, but I could not sleep and gave in around 1 a.m. Right after I took the medication, I fell asleep. I could sleep for 6 hours straight.

I received an email from my attorney. It was not good news regarding the lawsuit. He was reluctant to send this notice email because he didn’t want me to worry and concern, especially in this holiday season. He told me not to worry and focus on healing my body. His email was filled with his kindness and thoughtfulness. I really appreciate him for being my attorney. It was a great Christmas gift from him.

I still suffer from intense pain every day and night. Because of the pain, I easily affected by negative energy. I decided not to check all the documents that were submitted by the adverse party.

It was my 15^th physical therapy. In the morning, I was supposed to leave house at 7 a.m. when I turned on the engine, my car emitted a weird high pitch tone from the engine room. I instantly thought I should not go to this appointment. But then again, good moral of me came in and told me I should go. After thought about it for a while, the sound calmed down, so I decided to go.

It was raining and a cold morning with low air pressure. Maybe my car made an unusual sound because of the low temperature. That affected humans too. I was feeling lazy and dizzy, and the young female doctor seemed to be unhappy for some reasons. She asked me how was my last 2 sessions with the male doctor went. I mentioned after his 2 treatments, my sleep quality and length have gotten much improved than before. When she heard that from me, she obviously hurt her feeling. I instantly felt that she was jealous to the male doctor who was her supervisor and the employer. I don’t think she should feel jealous because the male doctor has 20 years more job experienced and skilled than her. But I can tell she didn’t like when I praised the male doctor.

At the last moment of the physical therapy, she applied dry needling on my right foot. When she applied electric stimulation, all 5 fingers of my right foot curled inward without my will and got stiff. I got panicked and felt scared. The female doctor already left the room, but I called her out loud and asked her to stop the electric stimulation right away. When she turned down the electric stimulation, my toe fingers got back to normal. The young female doctor also got scared, so that she ended the dry needling session within 3 minutes or so.

After came back home, I was filled with shock, anger, and sadness. I shed tears a lot. After that, I needed to take a nap for some hours.

After I woke up from nap, I strongly felt I should stop taking the physical therapy. I should graduate from it. I asked advice from my daughter and husband. They both agreed with me. They encouraged me to follow my strong intuition. With their encouragement, I cancelled the next physical therapy appointments.   

Last night I and tried to sleep without Gabapentin. I fell asleep around 9 p.m., but woke up around 1 am from pain. Since then, I could not go back to sleep. I gave in and took one pill of gabapentin. Right after that, I fell asleep. I could sleep 5 hours until next morning.

I could not wake up with the wakeup alarm. I needed to wake up at 6 a.m. for my daughter’s physical therapy session.

We left the house at 7 a.m. My daughter has suffered from the pain in jar area. My male doctor at the physical therapy clinic told me it is called TMJ. He is a specialist to fix TMJ. The doctor checked my daughter’s jar and the bone alignment thoroughly. He diagnosed that her condition was not severe and does not require a surgery. He instructed my daughter some homework exercise to do every morning and night.

After came back home, it was my daughter’s time to take a nap to rest. I was not drained because I didn’t do the physical therapy today.

I went for a walk by myself. While I was walking, I run into a new neighbor who recently purchased the house and moved in. She saw me carried by my husband and worried about me. She asked about me to my husband the other day. She offered us her help anytime we need.

When we passed by, she greeted me and asked me how I am feeling. Then we introduced ourselves and had a small chat. She seemed to be around my age. She is a retired medic at the US army. She learned the western medicine and licensed as a nurse, but she is also interested in alternative medicine. We both were happy to have each other as our neighbor. I hope I will get to know her more gradually.

Same as last night, I could sleep deeply. Having a high-quality sleep was the most needed to heal my body. I appreciate for this improvement in sleep habit.

Last October, I started taking Gabapentin, which is the nerve pain reliever. The doctor prescribed this medication to take 3 times a day every day. Since this month, I started gradually reduced the intake frequency. I currently take this medication only 1 pill a day. I need to take it in evening when the nerve pain gets unbearable. I want to stop taking it before my body gets really addicted to it. I asked the male doctor at the last physical therapy. I mentioned I have only 4 pills left in hand. I was wondering if I should request to refill it or not. He recommended to refill it because I still need it. He doesn’t want me to suffer from intense pain. He said my body needs to have high quality sleep to heal, and the medication helps me to sleep well. So, I requested the clinic to refill it on last Friday. Today around 11 a.m., they informed me my request was approved and my medication is now ready to pick up.

My daughter and I went to pick up the medication. After that, my daughter wanted to go to the mall. We gave her some cash for her birthday, but she said she wanted to have some actual items as gift as a memorable item. She is right. She is still a child, and she deserves to have something nice to keep as a good memory.

She told me one new store has recently opened that sells a bunch of handmade gifts. It was fun to walk around the new store that they were filled with nice handmade items. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep waking. My right foot started having unbearable sharp pain that I needed to sit down on the bench in the mall. My daughter felt sorry for me and suggested to go back home. I promised her that we would go to the community market at the beginning of next year.

I slept very well last night. I could sleep for 6.5 hours for the very first time since the injury day. I am for sure that this improvement is thanked to the male doctor on his correct approach dealing with my right foot nerve pain.

It was winter solstice. I did a winter solstice fortune telling. The result really matches my current situation. It says I was once at the bottom of the water (water represents trouble or challenge), but I am currently at the edge of the water (meaning I am almost successfully getting out from the trouble or challenge). I have learned from the lessons, and now I have become much stronger and smarter than before. I am now at the calm and safe place.

Before noon, I received a phone call from my mom-in-law. My brother-in-law came back to life. He was discharged from hospital and back home right now. He is aware how bad his cirrhosis and liver are. He made a commitment on no more drinking any alcohol beverage. He is in the waiting list to transplant liver from a donor. If everything goes well, then he might be able to receive a donor’s liver. I was shocked to know how bad his liver was. I am glad that my brother-in-law didn’t depart on December 17^th without communicating with his family.  

I spent time with my family as usual. We had breakfast and went for a walk. After I got out from the hot bath, the pain in the right foot was intense. I needed to take a one-hour nap. I woke up from nap with the pain. I screamed about the pain, shed tears, and suffered from pain. I spent my days like this for almost three months.

Around 5 p.m., I went to the veteran’s park in the next city. They had a vehicle’s light up parade. Just some walk in the park was really tough for me. I saw people were enjoying ice skating in the middle of the park. It was too painful for me to keep standing and watching the parade. I asked my husband and daughter to keep watching the parade. I went back to the car and laid down on the backseat. It was nice though, to get out from house and see the Christmas decoration in the park and happy people there.

I went to my 14^th physical therapy. Today was the second therapy session instructed by the skilled male doctor. The therapy stared with the doctor’s correcting my spine position by gently pressing a spine one by one by his finger. Then we went to the gym room. I did the ski motion exercise at the intense speed and frequency. The therapy ended by the dry needling with electric stimulation on my right foot. I really liked the male doctor’s therapy approach. I asked him to switch my doctor from the young female doctor to him. He, as the supervisor and the owner of the clinic, asked me to make an appointment with the female young doctor and him alternately. I understand his position. He probably doesn’t want to completely drop her from my case.  

My husband went to his friend’s house to repair my laptop. His friend recently started his private business dealing with repairing a computer. After spent some hours at his house, he came back home. They concluded that my laptop needs to replace a motherboard.

In the evening, we decided to send my laptop to the dealer who is also the owner of the biofeedback device dealer and the technician to repair their devices and laptops.

We went to the library and printed out the order form. Then we went to the post office to send  my laptop to the dealer.

We haven’t heard any news from my mom-in-law about my brother-in-law. Maybe he came back to life and is stable right now.  

I slept well last night. I could sleep for 4 hours straight. I believe it was thanks to the male doctor’s physical therapy session. His approach was painful but beneficial for my body. In the morning, I received a phone call from the pain clinic. I called and left a voice message to their clinic on December 15^th and they returned a phone call today. It took them 3 days to return a call from a patient. At this moment, I lost interests in going to this clinic. The clinic worker had a strong accent in English, and it was tough for me to understand what she was talking about. I asked my husband to be there with me. He also struggled with understanding what she was saying. All we understood was the earliest appointment available was at the end of next month. We could not believe it. As the clinic name clearly shows that the clinic deals with the patients with intense pain. In this clinic, the new patients have to wait 6 weeks from the day when they call to make an appointment. It is insane for me. I considered this as a clear sign from my family spirits, that I don’t need to go to this pain clinic.