It was a hot day. It was cold yesterday. It is nice to have warm temperature with clear sunny sky, but it is tough for our body to experience a cold day and a hot day in turn. After I came back from my regular walk, I felt dizzy and started having headache. Maybe the heat got me. I can think of another reason. My eating habit has been really bad and my body needs to be reset. Being sick was not bad at all. I could naturally fast 24 hours. Sorry to my body for torturing by eating and drinking alcohol too much nowadays.  

I had a meeting with the insurance agent this afternoon. I was thinking of my late mom. I remember she started having a life insurance around 50, which is my current age. When we go beyond 50, it might be natural for us to start thinking about our old years and after our departure.

***

At night I watched the online lecture presented by Japan Homeopathy School. The teacher’s advice resonated with me perfectly. She gave me the exact answer toward my experience in the afternoon. I thought this was a natural way for my family spirits to convey messages to me. When the pandemic started, the teacher was strongly against of wearing a facial mask and having a chusha. However, as she observed many of her students and clients, she gradually came to a conclusion that she needs to find some peaceful ways with others, instead of constantly getting mad at the people who had different opinions from her. Previously she let all her workers and customers not to wear a facial mask in her restaurant and offices, but she now instructed them to be flexible depending on the situation. She installed acrylic plates in her restaurant and offices. She has realized the importance when dealing with opponent people with respect and love. Instead of always arguing with the opponent people, sometimes it helps to give consideration to their feeling by just yielding in.

While I was chatting with one of my friends, she annoyed me by saying her belief about chucha. I didn’t talk back to her. I didn’t tell her anything, but when I came back home, some uncomfortable feeling stayed with me. I know I did the right thing by not talking back to her, because it prevents any possible agree arguments. What I wanted to tell her was like this. I respect her opinion and belief and that is why I won’t oppose them. I want her to do the same. I want her to respect my opinion and belief and stop forcing me to change my belief to hers. However, now I fully realize that I cannot change anybody but myself. I cannot change the way she acts, but I can change my reaction to her. I can change myself to accept her belief and opinion with keeping my belief and opinion. I can change myself not to get offended by her or other people.

While I am writing this, I feel appreciated to her, because she has given me the important reminder. As 般若心経 says, everything is actually neutral. It is my mind whether I get offended or not by outer factors. As long as I stay in my inner peace; 中庸, I will be fine no matter what.

Today we had a nice surprise gift to my daughter. One of our friends brought an artist tool set to my daughter. He said he received it as a Christmas gift but he thought of my daughter. He wanted to have her to brush up her artistic gift. We appreciate him for thinking of my daughter.

I admit that I have been indulging myself by eating too much chocolate for the past several months. Started from my dad-in-law’s departure in last August, we needed to visit Navajoland very often. Together with my mom-in-law, we went through tough moments. I started eating more and more chocolate along with some favored beer.

Whenever I am in a peaceful state without strong stress, my eating habit is pretty well controlled. But my eating habit has been completely affected by stresses.

I asked my daughter a couple of times to pick up some homeopathy remedies for me. She held the remedy bag and asked spirits to guide her to the right remedy for me. Recently, one specific remedy always fell off from the bag first. It was Nux Vomica. I was amazed at her pure intuition and being guided. This remedy is good for a person who have had stimulant foods such as chocolates and alcohol.

It is time for me to change my eating habit to reset the body function. This remedy is definitely a must for me at this moment. I always appreciate her spiritual gift to support me.

I watched the online lecture presented by Japan Homeopathy School. The teacher was talking about Dazaifu 大宰府. During Japan closed the door to foreigners, aka Sakoku, it was an important place functioned as the west gate for foreigners to protect Japan.

While listening her explanation, I thought of my ancestor; 菅原道真公 (Sugawara no Michizane). He contributed to the government, and due to his brilliant talent, he was attacked by other people’s jealousy. Later his life, he was falsely accused and sent to大宰府. I found some similarities with my ancestor. First, I moved to west for my latter half of my life. Second, I have some phobias to make myself stand-out or well-known. I am scared of dealing with people.

This year I will work on my people phobias. I really want to overcome my weakness.

I woke up at 6 a.m. Outside was still dark. It was heavily raining and cold. I went to kitchen and made hot tea and prepared for breakfast. My family woke up around 6:30 a.m. By then, the rain stopped, so we went for a morning walk. After my family went back home, I continued being outside. I went for a jogging in the neighborhood area. I felt my body much lighter than the previous year. I could jog in a good pace without stopping a lot. I am happy to feel my lung has been stronger than last year. Last year in March 2021, I started jogging on the treadmill twice a day; every morning and evening.

In the evening at 5 p.m., I attended the Reiki gathering. It was a big group of 49 attendees. As a beginning of a new year, the teacher shared 108 bell meditation. The teacher asked me the meaning of 108 bells. I knew it means 煩悩 in Japanese, but I was not sure how to translate into English. I answered it as karma, but he said it was not exactly right. The teacher explained煩悩as impurity accumulated in the year, and the 108 bells help us to burn the impurities out and get ready to welcome a new year in a pure state. Later on, I found out it is translated as “earthy desires” or “evil desires.”

Toward the end, one attendee asked the teacher a question. It was regarding the Reiki Gokai. The first line says “Ikaruna” (do not angry), but it is difficult not to get angry in our daily life. The teacher said he gets angry easily every day in the daily life. It is natural to get angry because we humans have emotions. That being said, what the Gokai suggests is try not to get attached to angry emotion for long. Once we get angry, then we accept the emotion and let it go, instead of keeping the negative emotion. I thought it was a very nice explanation for the reiki principle.

It was a nice and warm day. While I was hanging our laundry to dry in our backyard, I really enjoyed getting sun light on my body.

In the afternoon, my family and I created a vision board for the upcoming new year of 2022.

Followed by my family spirits, I created a simple vison board. Interestingly I chose the words of “Discover your style.” This message makes sense to me. I don’t feel comfortable in using SNS. There should be some other ways for me to proceed to my life mission. I believe in my family spirits. They will naturally guide me to the right direction. I laughed when I saw the message words of “It’s easier thank you think.” This message is being repeated from my family spirits over and over again. In fact, I chose this word in my previous vison board for this year (2021).

I chose the following pictures in my visions.

A light blue entrance door

Fruit trees

A nice house with a huge tree in front of the house

A good size of vegetable garden

I wrote down reminder wording for myself as follows.

I am willing to serve many people by supporting them to be spiritually awaken

As usual, today also, I laugh a lot, feel assured and appreciated, work on my life missions diligently, and be nice to others. This is my arranged version of Reiki Gokai.

I love my new vision board.

***

In the night at 6 p.m., I called my dad. His voice sounded very strong and healthy. In Japan they have already entered to a new year, so I wished my dad a happy new year. He sounded to be happy to hear my voice.   

Thank you to my family, friends, and other people whom interacted with me this year. I look forward to meeting new people and working together in next year. And, as always, my appreciation from my heart to my family spirits for their unconditional love to me and support.

It was a cold day. I needed to keep a room heater on all day long. The sky had been grey all day long. I miss a sunny day.

In our area, we have many warm and sunny days even in winter. When I was young I always told people I love winter, but now I want to change my favorite season. I love spring and summer with warm and sunny weather.

For my first 10 years in this area, I hated the hot weather. But now, I am loving this weather and this area.

The year of 2021 is coming to an end.

This year had become one of my unforgettable year. In August, my dad-in-law passed away. Without his support, I would not have been here. He helped me a lot. He was definitely one of my VIPs in this life. After his departure, we went back to Navajoland four times. It was weird to be there without him. Every time when we went back, he was the very first one who came out from the house and waited outside to greet us. Two months before his departure, in June, my family spirits urged me to go to Navajoland and spend two weeks with my dad-in-law. My plan didn’t happen, because my daughter decided to attend the summer program at the local school at the last moment.

Four months from my dad-in-law’s departure, in December, my husband’s cousin suddenly departed. My husband devastated for this news because they were very close to each other.

The first six months of this year, I had studied at the Japanese mediumship school. I felt I am not belong to this group. I decided to leave this school.

Interestingly once I decided to leave this school, I reconnected with my Japanese Reiki teacher. He invited me to his Reiki share group in America and Europe. For the latter half, I had enjoyed connecting with his group where I felt their warm and welcoming hospitality. I never felt isolated in this group.

I wonder what kind of energy will bring me to in next year.

Recently for these past two weeks, I went through a series of communication with a newly acknowledged person. I enjoyed getting to know the person in the beginning, but later on I noticed I had some type of annoying feeling in communicating with this person. I felt hurt in the midst of communication. I noticed this person appeared to me in order to show me my inner child that I needed to heal. I am not good at participating in SNS. I feel isolated and hurt whenever I am with other people. I want to heal the inner child.

I did the guided meditation of hypnotherapy. I asked my family spirits to show me my past life that I was hurt.

The first scene that I saw was somewhere indoor. It was cold and the air was humid. Winter. Morning. I saw myself as a young woman of around 20 years old. The girl was wearing a kimono. The kimono was old and worn out. The girl was not wearing any shoes, just barefoot. I felt the cold and wet ground on my feet. The place was a cattle barn, but there were no cattle. The girl was all alone. The cattle barn was used as a jail or something.

The girl used to live in a small log house in the woods. She was spiritually gifted to be able to convey messages from spirits. She was originally beautiful with a long straight black hair. People started visited her and asked for advice. She became famous by word of mouth. Some people got jealous and entrapped the girl. She was arrested and put into jail even though she didn’t do anything wrong. She just helped people from her kindness.

The current-I went to the girl. I hugged the girl and talked to her. I know she got hurt by people.

My family spirits came for me and told me like this. They completely understand why I am people phobia. They told me it is totally up to me if I want to step forward and do something great or not. They honor my free will and my decision on everything. If I get ready for proceed, they will support me. If I want to end this life without going forward, it is fine. The right timing will come for me and I will intuitively know what to do. They want me to enjoy every single moment on this life. And I agree with them to do so.