I woke up before 5 a.m. due to the intense pain of the right foot. The intense pain continued all day so that I could not do much.

From the evening, I started using a cane that my mom-in-law sent to me. I still remember that my physical therapy doctor is strongly against of using a cane, because it will worsen the posture and the healing process might be delayed. That being said, it is her opinion and she never suffered from this kind of intense nerve pain. Using a cane, I could walk without constantly touching the nerve of the right foot, so that the pain seemed to be slightly calmed down.

Since December 8^th, my husband tried to fix my laptop of the biofeedback device. I really hope he will be able to fix it so that it will increase building his self-confidence.   

I really couldn’t study at the computer desk due to the intense pain. I gave up studying today. All I could do is trying to sleep. I could sleep for one hour and woke up from pain, then suffered from pain for a while, followed by falling asleep for a while.

I still continue going to the back yard and earthing in front of a big tree by putting my bare foot on the ground. I feel it is beneficial for me. I will keep doing the earthing process.  

We purchased a new standing desk for me. I still cannot sit down on a chair for a long time. With this standing desk, the desk table can be easily adjusted with electricity, so that I can study or work standing, instead of sitting on a chair for a long time. Last night, my husband assembled the new desk for me. I love this new desk. I can keep standing up and work on the computer work and study.

I went to my 12^th physical therapy. Today the female doctor introduced me a new exercise that I squatted and reached to the weight of 25lb from the ground and lifted it up to my waist line. My spine was still weak and the 25lb weight felt too heavy for me to lift up to my waist line.

After came back from the physical therapy, I felt depressed and drained, and cried a lot as usual. Then, I needed to take a 2-hour nap to rest.

In the evening, my husband and I went to the landfill to drop off the old bed mattresses. Getting rid of the old mattresses and old bed frame made us feel lighter than before.

My husband woke up early and assembled a new bed frame all by himself. A new bed mattress was delivered in the afternoon. I am excited for him to sleep in a comfortable bed frame and mattress.

I went to my 11^th PT session. While waiting for the doctor, I was reading the signs that show in the television screen in the waiting room. They are the recommendation of having physical therapy sessions. I totally agree with all the sentences, so that I want to share with you.

People believe that the only option is a surgery, but physical therapy functions as effective as a surgery.

I am so happy with my decision on selecting physical therapy over a surgery.

My laptop of the biofeedback didn’t start up. I was hoping today it will start up normally, but it didn’t.

I had an appointment with the technician of the biofeedback software dealer. Today’s appointment took her 3 hours due to the upgrade to premium version.

From today, my husband’s employer has changed to a new one.

As for me, I had another progress. I went for a walk with my daughter. Since I still have pain in my right foot, I was planning to walk just a short distance, which is only 1/3 out of the full circle. But my daughter today suggested to walk to a full circle. She said walking to a full circle will give me confidence and it will be beneficial for me. So, we walked to a full circle. Walking, chatting and laughing with my daughter at the same time, I could fish walking to a full circle. It was much easier than I thought.

Since yesterday, I have seen the news about big earthquake in the southern area of Hokkaido and Northen area of main island in Japan.

In the evening, the nerve pain got intense again and I cried.

After I cried and calmed down, I gave my daughter a full biofeedback session. I loved the premium version. After done with her session, I wanted to do a session to myself. but my laptop stopped starting up.  

Right after I woke up, I suffered from the intense pain. I shed lots of tears. Once I was satisfied on shedding lots of tears, I got out from the bed and hang blankets and sheets on the hanging rack. While doing so, I was filled with appreciation. The pain is still here, but I have recovered to the point where I can freely walk around and do house chores.

I gave myself a biofeedback session. The session went smoothly and the success rate was 80%.

My mom-in-law called me. She said she had been sick for the past week. She didn’t have any appetite but today she is feeling much better than before. She got hungry and warmed up the curry and rice that I saved for her on our last visit. She appreciated me for the delicious curry and rice and asked me to cook some more on our next visit. I was happy to hear that she really loves my food. I will definitely cook more and save more for her on our next visit.

I could sleep for 4 hours, which is very rare for me.

My daughter has way behind in her school work, because she has been supporting me a lot with house chores in these past two months. Now that I can do most of the house chore, she can focus on her school work.

I woke up feeling energized. I felt I had a better sleep than the previous night.

Since my daughter is curious about the biofeedback session, I gave her a session today, and took screenshots on all the panels. I explained each panel and the comments from the software.

My husband is in the process of transferring his hiring company. He works as a movement contractor. His employer company was shifted to a new company, so that he needed to input his personal information the new company’s data file.

In the morning, I made a homemade corn soup from a scratch. It turned out to be a delicious soup.

My attorney shared lots of documents that my brother’s attorney submitted to the court. My attorney told me not to worry and focus on the healing process of my body. I appreciate his kindness. He is right. I cannot do anything about this. I trust my attorney and let him work on it as professional. As for me, I need to concentrate on healing my body.

Again, I could not sleep only for 3 hours. I was planning to drive by myself to the physical therapy clinic, but due to the lack of sleep, I asked my husband to take me there. Last night was very cold and the outside temperature dropped, so that the street surface frozen.

Today’s session was with the usual young female doctor. She asked me the feedback of the male doctor. I mentioned I liked his new approach and dry needling in the back of knee area. Only one aspect I didn’t like about his session was he was pretty busy showing up and left.

The female doctor told me what I didn’t know about the clinic. In this clinic, she is the only one doctor who attend to one client for the entire session. All the other doctors deal with 3 patients simultaneously. And that is why nobody stays with one patient for more than 5 minutes. I understand the efficiency of the clinic, but I personally don’t like the idea to deal with 3 patients simultaneously.

After came back the physical therapy, as usual, I was drained and felt sad. My daughter rubbed my back gently and listened quietly whatever I said while I was shedding tears. The pain was intense as usual. It huts no matter what. I cannot escape from pain even while sleeping. I was devastating.

I started thinking about graduating from physical therapy. For the past several therapies, after came back from physical therapy, I would feel drained and sad. Recently I stated feeling like I might be sucking in the negative energy and anger from the young female doctor. I don’t feel comfortable to have any session from her anymore.

My daughter had a pain in her jar, so I gave her a biofeedback session and focused on TMJ.    

For the past one week, I started noticing the dull pain in my lower back area. Today I can clearly feel the pain.

Last night I woke up around 2 a.m. as usual.

In my dream, somebody told me that the pain is supposed to go up, meaning the pain is supposed to come back to the lower back area. With the process, gradually the pain in the right foot will disappear and that I should enjoy the healing process. Then I woke up. I felt happy and excited about the ongoing healing process.

The first thing in the morning was the smooth process of bowel movement. Last two months, I had missed my healthy routine of every morning’s bowel movement without any efforts. Now it is back naturally. I am filled with appreciation to my body for functioning normally.