I talked with my life-long friend on the phone. It is always good to talk with her.

I had left some distance from her since my last visit in Japan in March 2019. I have the specific reason that I started keeping distance from her. I had avoided talking her about the reason. Recently I had a strong urge that I should talk to her about my honest feeling.

Right before I started talking with her, I had a prayer about our friendship. She means a lot to me, and I don’t want to lose her. I don’t want to stay being this kind of little bit distanced friendship.

I had a solid confidence that I will be able to make peace and reconnect with her if I talk to her from my sincere heart. The solid confidence came from my personal experience with my husband. My husband and I have built our good relationship through our well-communication.

Our talk went well. After I opened up and talked my honest feeling, she did so to me. We found out there were misunderstandings due to our lack of communication. We made promises that from now on, instead of not talking about it, we will talk from our honest feeling and have good communication.

I am glad that our friendship and trust were rebuilt again.     

This evening I had my second aura cleansing session from the Japanese female healer.

Today I focused on my cleaning my aura field around my physical body.

In my dream of this morning, I witnessed a man. When he was about to ride a car, he hit his head on the asphalted street very hard. His skull was cracked open. I saw a whole bunch of blood came out from his head.

***

Then I woke up. I know this dream brought me a good message regardless of grotesque appearance. Something will turn out to be a wonderful reborn situation.

***

Tonight we had a bright full moon. It was a Scorpio Super full moon. I prayed for releasing my unnecessary energies from my energy field. It is good to re-start something we had given up. I focused on my spiritual work in Navajoland; the healing retreat tour with Japanese customers.

In my dream of this morning, my family and I all happily ate delicious hot sandwich. After the breakfast I left for somewhere. My destination was a funeral for myself. I was not sad for my death. Rather, I was happy for my death and funeral. Even I was still in my dream state, I knew these two dreams were good messages for me.

After I woke up, I looked up the meanings of my dreams. My own funeral indicates a good luck in a new beginning in career. Eating delicious breakfast also indicates good luck in human relationship and energy.

***

I received two more emails from my macrobiotic teacher.

The first one is the advice from the perspective of Theory of Yin-Yang and the Five Elements. And the second one is her personal focusing on how I got diabetes.

***

The first advice was like this.

In my case, it sounds to her my root cause is not in my pancreas itself. Rather, I should focus on Gold in Theory of the Five Elements, which include lung, colon, lymph, ankles, and lower back. Also, I should pay attention to kidney and bones.

I should keep continuing on in-taking dietary fiber in order to burn fat. Mushroom will be one of the recommended food for me.

–> I will start send my attention and love to the above organs and body parts. I hope I will be able to communicate with them to support its healing.

***

The second advice was like this.

My body will eventually accept the sadness of miscarriage. Then my body will start taking steps to completely heal itself. Please fully trust my body. My body has ability to heal itself. All I can do every day is to communicate with my body. Listen to my body and let them lead. Sometimes I might crave certain foods. It might be the food my body needs. Don’t let my knowledge judge the food as good or bad. Don’t worry about the temporary craving for a certain food, as the craving will be for a short term. Keep the faith my body is strong and smart enough to heal itself.

I woke up feeling good from my dream. This morning’s dream was similar to my recent dream of April 25th.

In my dream I had a strong nature call and went to a bathroom. There I released a whole bunch. I had enough toilet paper in my hand. After released, I felt so good.

Then I woke up.

***

I know this was a message from my family spirits. Last night I was irritated from the conversation with my dad. So, this dream is the answer.

I felt their message as follows.

“Not to worry. Everything will go smoothly and well for me and my Japanese family.”

I decided to keep following my intuition. I keep believing everything will go well for everybody. I just experience through my mom’s departure, didn’t I? Before, I worried about my mom so much, but she made all her wishes come true naturally and departed to her spiritual hometown peacefully. I know it will happen to my dad too. They are originally great souls that they deserve the peaceful departure.

I have been thinking about my dad every day. Last time when I called him was March 31^st. Since then I hadn’t called him for more than one month. I know he is feeling lonely. I know he appreciates my phone call.

However, talking with my dad is not fun, to say it at the least. On my last visit of my parents in this past January, my dad made me feel irritated a lot.

I admit I had glorified my dad in my younger years. I had respected him. Even though my mom and my aunt (my dad’s older sister) had told me the true faces of my dad many time, I could not believe them. Now I know from my experiences, I know they were right. My dad has many aspects that I cannot respect or agree with.

I had decided to follow my intuition regarding calling my dad. I wanted to wait until when I feel comfortable talking with him. It was hard for me to follow my intuition by not calling my dad, but I had stayed strong to protect myself, until this evening.

This morning I received a text message from my friend. She suggested me to call my dad. She thought my dad has been waiting for my call every day.

Her message dived into my heart deeply. It made me think I should call my dad right away.

So, I did. Without thinking twice. I regretted that I called my dad, after I hang up the phone with him.

***

I called my dad. My dad was happy to hear my voice. So far so good. Then, he started gradually saying stuff that obviously sounded like he was blaming me for not have called him more than one month. I should have hang the phone at the moment. My dad went on and on asking me many questions and I naturally answered to his questions. Then at the certain point, I noticed my dad’s questions were investigating my mom’s secret bank account. It really made me feel uncomfortable. My dad went on saying the same thing over and over again, that I already asked him to stop saying that anymore. All the things I heard from my dad made me feel uncomfortable and mad.

I reached to the point where I could not put up with listening to him anymore. I told him I’ve got to go and hang up the phone.

After hanged up the phone, I madly regretted that I called him. Why I could not keep standing firmly on my decision. Haven’t I decided not to call him until I will feel strong enough to talk with my dad? My dad at this moment is not normal. I really should keep the sacred distance from him. I am not going to call him for a while again. He successfully ruined my evening and night.

From now on, at least one month or so, I will focus on talking to my dad in soul level. In my mind’s eye, my dad’s soul always stays in noble. He is calm and intelligent. I pray for him for a smooth transition process from the physical dimension to spiritual realm whenever he gets ready, and the process will accompany nothing but a peaceful and happy feeling. I know my dad’s soul’s departure will leave us only appreciation and love to him. I fully trust my dad’s soul can sense my feeling and prayer for the highest good.

This morning I woke up refreshed. Thanks to the swamp cooler’s properly working, my day went well nicely.

***

In the evening my cousin gave me a phone call.

Last time when I talked with my cousin was before my mom’s 49^th ceremony. My dad invited him for the Buddhism ceremony to pray for my mom’s safe departure to her spiritual hometown. A banquet dinner would be followed after the ceremony. My cousin was planning to attend the ceremony, but he was reluctant for attending at the banquet dinner. He does not get along with other cousin and feels awkward to have dinner with him. When I heard his concern, I suggested my cousin to turn down the invitation. It would not hurt using some excuses such as a sudden business trip. With my suggestion, my cousin got relieved. He said he would do so.

So, I asked him if he could excuse himself from the banquet dinner. He said he could not excuse himself. He attended the banquet because he thought my dad might feel offended if he didn’t attend. I noticed my cousin is the type of person who cannot say no to others. I used to be like him, so I know exactly how difficult for him to say no. I feel sorry for him.

My cousin is my mom’s nephew. Since they had lived in a same house in their younger years, they were close as if they were real siblings. Thus, it was natural for him to visit my mom often. After my mom’s passed away, I thought my cousin would stop visiting my parents’ house.

In our conversation, I found out that my cousin visited my dad often last month. While my mom was still alive, my cousin and my mom often contacted each other by phone calls. My dad never called my cousin directly before. My cousin told me recently my dad started calling him on the phone. I was surprised to know about that.

My dad started feeling comfortable to ask my cousin some personal favors and chores. My dad already asked my cousin to do this and that. I know my cousin’s personality. He is too gentle to say no. And I know my dad’s personality. He is never shy to ask people to do something for him. I suggested my cousin to say no when it comes to the point where my dad asks him too much and too frequently. My cousin said he will try. I concern about my cousin for not being able to say no to my dad.

This morning I woke up with dull headache. I know the cause. It was because of the heat inside the house. Our swamp cooler has been broken.

After lunch, my headache got worse than morning. I didn’t want to get sick today, because I had an appointment for my second aura cleansing session with the Japanese healer this evening. I went to bed and took a 3-hour nap. After the nap, I still felt dizzy.

Whenever I am sick in bed, I feel sorry for my family. I forced myself get up from the bed. I cooked their dinner. But I could not eat anything. I decided to take some more rest and went to the bedroom.

There, my headache reached at the pain peak. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. Nothing came out except for water. This type of throwing up is the toughest one for me, from my experience.

I contacted the Japanese healer and asked her to reschedule my appointment. I waited until she replied back to me. She kindly accepted my apology for a sudden cancellation and my request to reschedule. I was sad because I was looking forward to her session. Her session is always helpful for me.

My husband and daughter took good care of me as usual. They made a bed for me and brought an ice pillow and an ice eye mask. Both of them gave me Reiki healing energy. With their kind support, I fell asleep.

***

While I was asleep, the maintenance man came by to our house. He finally found out the root cause of the swamp cooler. The outlet area of the pump was messed up from water residue such as calcium. He replaced the complete set of the outlet and cables. He needed to use another brand new pump, as the recent new pump was damaged from the water residue. We finally had a nice cool air inside the house for the high quality all night sleep. We had missed it for one week. I am so glad that the maintenance man finally fixed the root cause.

My brother visited me in my dream. He was living alone in a small apartment. I visited his room. It was a studio room, but the one room was spacious enough for him to feel comfortable. It was nicely organized and clean. We went to his company. His company was still there, but it seemed he already resigned the company. He was self-employed for some type of business. All in all, he looked much happier than him in the real life. I had a good time visiting him.

Then I woke up.

I thought this dream showed me my brother’s one of the parallel worlds. I am glad my brother was happy in one of his parallel world. I fully believe this experience is influencing him in a good way. It is one of the healing ways for him.

***

Our swamp cooler was out of order all day. I could not do anything progressive today because of the hot temperature inside the house.

Since two days ago, our swamp cooker had stopped working. It always has this issues every summer. This morning the maintenance guy came by and checked it. He said the pump was not working. Luckily he had a brand new pump in his working truck. He replaced the pump to a new one and the swamp cooler started working again.

The new pump had worked only for two hours. Then the pump stopped working again.

We have hot days recently. This week the highest temperature had been around 35 Celsius (95 Fahrenheit).

We turned on all the ceiling fans in every room but it was not enough to deal with Arizona heat. i had been feeling sick from the heat all day and night.