It was a quiet Sunday. In my morning walk, I run into the policeman in the police car patrolling our neighborhood. He was the one who supported the customers in the local dollar store on last Sunday morning. The policeman asked me if I was planning to go to the store again this morning. I was not planning to go. The policeman suggested to go shopping there tomorrow early morning instead of today. He shared the information with me. The store is expecting their delivery truck to be arrived in the early morning tomorrow so that their items will be nicely restocked. It was very nice of him. This is one of the benefits in living in a small town. We know each other and we are nice to each other.

***

In the afternoon my friend and I went for a long distance walk. We walked about five miles as always. Our walk had been good until toward the end when she said bad jokes about my family.

I knew it was her habit. She had gossiped and said bad jokes about her close people such as her family and coworkers. If they hear her saying that, they would definitely get hurt. I don’t enjoy hearing any gossips or mean teasing about people behind their back, even for the people whom I don’t personally know. 

She repeated the insulting jokes about my family several times. Even though she said she was joking, I got offended. I took a couple of deep breathing and calmed myself down. Then, I carefully selected the right words and gently asked her to stop saying bad jokes about my family.

In her reply, she said she would get back to her original routine, which is going for jogging alone. Her reply implied she would stop walking together with me anymore. I agreed with her suggestion. We both thanked each other for keeping a good company for these past 6.5 months.

It is good to get back to our own routine. In a way, I felt relieved that I don’t need to hear any gossips nor mean teasing anymore.

Since my recent birthday of 50 years old, I am committed myself to stay being myself. I only do what I want to do. Meaning, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I only hang out with somebody whom I feel comfortable to stay with. Meaning, I don’t waste my time with anybody whom I don’t feel comfortable to stay with.   

In the morning my husband went to the grocery store in the next town where is located at a 20-minutes’ drive away.

Going to the grocery store is my job, but to be honest, I was a bit scared on how I would feel at the grocery store. On last week when I went there, there were a whole bunch of sad elder customers and I saw almost empty shelves here and there. I was overwhelmed by sad emotions. I am an empathy so that I got influenced took other people’s negative emotions

So this morning my husband offered to go shopping by himself. It was nice of him.

I gave him a shopping list. I didn’t want him to be lost in the store, so I made the list to the minimum. I gave up many items that I wanted to buy. From the store, he called me several times whenever he lost on which item to buy. I like the specific brand and size and memorize exactly where it should be located along with the price. So I could easily navigate him on the shopping.

After he came back home, he saw many guys shopping alone. They did exactly same as he did. They were holding a piece of paper which is most likely the shopping list that their wife or girlfriend made. On their other hand they were holding a cell phone calling their woman to ask specifically which one they wanted to buy.

When I heard this, I thought it nice that men are helping women for grocery shopping. If we didn’t have this Covid-19 situation, some of them might never experience the grocery shopping alone. I guess it is one of the benefits for us.

I read three manga comics written by Japanese married couple; 堀田あきお＆かよ.

親の介護、はじまりました。 (上)

親の介護、はじまりました。 (下)

親の介護、10年め日記。

The authors shared their personal experiences of nursing care of the wife’s elder parents. It was painful for me to read because they had the similar situation as my parents. Her dad was selfish and stubborn. He was not supportive for his wife at all. I feel sad for the author’s mom. My mom was the same way. Whenever my mom desperately needed supports from my dad, my dad was not supportive for my mom.

I don’t know if the author’s mom already graduated her physical life or not. I hope she already did, so that she is in the peaceful environment right now, just like my mom.

I really hope and pray for these people who had suffered at their last years from non-supportive spouses to be peaceful right now.

***

I still remember two to three days before my mom passed away. I was in America and she was in Japan, but I clearly heard her voice saying she was scared of death. She communicated with me through telepathy. I replied back to her through telepathy like this.

Dying should not be scary. When she is ready, her loved ones who already passed away before her will come to pick her soul up. All she needs is to follow their lead. All she needs is to let go. If she can let go of everything she is cringing on right now, it should be easy.

Then she departed.

After she left her body, she sent me the music tone of Ave Maria. I believe it was her answer to me telling dying was pretty easy.

We had two workers today at our house.

First one was a roof repair man. He came two days straight and patched up the roof shingles. He guaranteed we won’t get scared of roof shingles frying away even in a strong windy night.

The second one was a plumber to fix the shower handle. The plastic part of the shower handle was damaged. He went to the DIY store and came back. He found out the handle was not the right size. He needed to go back to the store again. I felt sorry for him that he needed to go to the store back and force twice and to wait in a long waiting line for the cashier and the customer service to exchange. Thanks to his effort, our shower handle was fixed.

***

We received a good notice from our auto insurance company. Considering the impact from the stay-home order of Covid-19, they decided to give their customers a 20% credit on two months of premiums. I was astonished to see the current situations of the main freeways in big cities. Somebody posted two pictures of before the Covid-10 and the current situation.

The gas price was drastically dropped. One month ago our local gas station had a $3.49 per gallon. Now their price is $2.15.

My cousin called me. He said he was on his way back home from visiting my dad. I appreciate him for still visiting my dad from time to time. I also appreciate him for still contacting me.

On my last visit I found out my cousin and I are not biologically connected as he is a step-son to my late aunt. Despite the truth, I really feel the strong connection with him as if he was my real brother.

Since my real brother doesn’t talk with me anymore, I appreciate my cousin to be someone whom I can express my honest feeling about my late mom. It is helpful for me to have someone who also misses my mom.

I consider my cousin as my brother in spirit.

We got one good news. With the news that one worker was confirmed as Covi19 positive at my husband’s workplace as of last Friday, his supervisor and their customers agreed to have my husband work from home. He can still support his customers remotely. It will start from tomorrow. I am happy for him to stay safe.

***

Tonight was a pink full moon. To me personally, I don’t like the hectic energy due to full moon. I don’t like two to three days before the full moon, but after the full moon, the energy starts calming down. I always feel it is similar to female monthly period cycle. For me, two to three days before my period starts, I get irritated. Right after the monthly period starts, I feel calmed and relaxed. So, I am now in peaceful and calm as the full moon has just past. From here on, the energy should start calming down.

This morning I woke up drained. I felt stressed out and sad for the current situation. For some reason, my daughter felt the same way. My daughter mentioned it is probably due to upcoming full moon of tomorrow.

***

I miss my mom. My daughter can see my late mom in spirit. According to my daughter, my mom is not around me all the time, but she visits me while I am talking a bath or right before I am about to sleep at night. Those two are when I am fully relaxing, so it makes sense to me.

My mom doesn’t have any specific message to me. I think she is happy for me that I am having a peaceful life with my husband and daughter here in this area.

My daughter shared what she saw about my mom with me. It was pretty funny.

Two days ago right before I fall asleep, I was thinking about a face mask, that CDC recommends all Americans to wear a face mask in public. My mom showed up wearing a face mask, then she took it off and trashed it to a trash box. She grinned. When I heard this from my daughter, I busted into laughter. My mom wanted me to stop worrying about anything too much. Rather, my mom wanted me to stay feeling happy. She also wanted to tell me that she is fine in the spirit world where she doesn’t need to wear a face mask.

Last night, again, right before I fall asleep, I was thinking of my mom. My mom showed up all smiling. She showed she was eating udon noodle. My daughter didn’t know the name, but she described on top of udon noodle, it was something white and square as a topping. My mom was pulling up the topping. Again, I busted into laughter. I remember my mom’s favorite food is Chikara-Udon. The udon noodle has a mocha topping. My mom always ordered it whenever we went to her favorite Udon noodle restaurant.

Then my mom showed she was eating a bowl of white rice. The topping was something red and wrinkly. My daughter does not know the name of it, but it is an Umeboshi. I also remember my mom’s favorite dish was a bwl of rice with an Umeboshi. She was actually eating it for her breakfast every day while I was visiting her in last January.

These were the solid evidences that my daughter accurately sees what my mom shows to her. Even though my daughter didn’t know these two dishes of my mom’s favorites, my daughter was right about describing them in details.

I was sorry for one of my Japanese acquaintances who currently lives in New York. She said she could not go outside for three weeks, because it has been dangerous for Asians tin public. Many Asian got beaten up just because they are Asian.

In the morning I went to the local dollar store. The worker kindly informed me the store would restock items on every Sunday morning. I was a bit scared to go to the store by myself, because of what I just heard from the Japanese woman living in New York. But I had to go there alone. I didn’t want to put my daughter in danger. Regardless of my concern, my shopping went peacefully. Inside the store, one police man was standing next to the cashier waiting line. He announced all the customers to stay calm during our shopping. I thanked the police man to be there for us.  

 ***

The new announcement of today. Starting from today, our community decided to close all the amenities in the local area. It includes Basketball Courts, Baseball Fields, the Skate Park, and the Tennis Courts. Using swings, slides, etc are not allowed.

It is sad for kids. How can they exercise? I go walk with my daughter, but I know it is not enough exercise for her. In school she would run around with her friends and get sweated. Or in the PE class, they do a variety of activity that make them sweat. I wonder what other kids are doing to get rid of their stress.

***

In the evening my friend and I went for a long walk. This week we could do this exercise twice a week. I like our good exercise. We again walked 5 miles. During the walk, she casually asked me how my mom is doing. I could not answer her question. I still haven’t mentioned about my mom’s departure to her. In fact, I haven’t talk about that to most of my other friends. I still cannot talk about it to my in-laws. I mentioned it to my husband and daughter, and my life-long friend. I could somewhat talk about it only to these three people. I am not ready to talk about it to anybody else. Still too painful for me. Maybe it is the same way for my dad and my brother. My mom’s 49^th day will be April 11^th. We are supposed to mourn about her until the day.

As of yesterday April 3rd, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, recommends Americans to wear a fabric mask in public such as a grocery store or a public transportation. My friends told me product masks are already out of stock in stores. CDC recommends to use anything fabric made at home or simply use a bandana or something to cover our nose and mouth.

I sewed three face masks for my family and myself. I used some organic cotton and gauze. It is comfortable to breath. I am satisfied to my homemade mask.

***

Walmart and Target announced their new policy. Starting from today, they will limit the number of customers who can enter the store. The customer can only walk one-way in the store. I didn’t go to the store so I don’t know how inconvenient this new policy for customers. Every day I am alert of new announcements that make our daily life tighten and inconvenient.

***

This pandemic term is definitely not fun for humans. But it is happening for reasons. It seems to be beneficial for the planet Earth. Now that less cars and airplanes are driving, the air has gotten much cleaner without air prolusion from gas emission. Less people go outside especially at night, so that we don’t consume much electricity as before. We stay home and spend more time with family, so that our family bond has gotten stronger than before. I want to keep focusing on the positive sides during this tough transition. And of course I hope everything will calm down as soon as possible so that we all can get back to our original routine.

***

In the evening my friend and I tried our new longer route. We walked more than 5 miles (8 km). I felt great to have sweat coming from inner muscle.

The school superintendent shared some information at the Facebook Live. The state decided to add grades during the school closure of eight weeks. The teachers will grade the assignments for the eight weeks and it will reflect the final grade.

I feel relieved to know that students will be upgraded to the next grade as long as they keep working on their weekly assignments.

***

One sad news came in. Today the official news reported one covid-19 positive patient was confirmed at my husband’s workplace. His supervisor says if my husband’s customer requests him to work from home, then he can work from home. I hope his customers will be supportive enough to request the staying home. Then, he will be able to remotely support and fix any issues on his customers’ computers.