This evening I went for my recent routine with my friend. My friend and I walked for two hours.

We missed our routine walking for three times; twice for my trip to Japan and once for my family’s trip to planetarium.

We had lots of talk to catch up with for each other’s recent life.

I really enjoy walking with her. I appreciate for our new friendship.

Today is my brother’s birthday. Since his marriage, we haven’t talked closely like we did in our younger days.

Every year I think of my brother on his birthday. I wonder he still remembers my birthday.

I wonder why our relationship has broken like this. I miss talking with him. I miss our younger days when we were very close each other.

I talked with my mom on the phone.

Our conversation started same as last week. She called my name with crying. I could feel her sadness and loneliness from her sickness. I felt sorry I am not there for her to support her daily life.

After my mom calmed down, she started sharing her health updates. Her body cells get numbed more day by day. Now she has many things she cannot do by herself.

Then she gave me some good news for her. My dad finally started taking appropriate actions for my mom.

First he called the nursing-care product representative and started leasing some items, such as an electric nursing care bed, some handrails, and a walker.

Second, he hired some carpenters and improved some areas of first floor to make it barrier-free. The bathroom door originally opened inward is now opened outward. The entrance area originally had a huge gap of step has now a mild slope. Other areas originally had a huge gap step is now improved to a mild slope.

Third, my cousin gifted my mom a CD player and some music CDs. While I was there, my mom asked me for Hawaiian relaxing music. I used my iPad to turn on the music. My cousin was watching it and arranged a CD prayer and CDs for my mom. My mom was happy for his kindness.

Until I went to visit my mom, I never knew my mom loves Hawaii that much. She still mentions if she gets well, she wants to go visit Hawaii. She said listening Hawaiian music is now a great support for her to release her stress of physical pain.

Here comes a tax return season. My husband and I submit our tax form online on February 10th.

My husband’s corporate headquarters is located in another state, and so it does not collect the state tax from every pay check. We were given one option to choose; either to pay directly to State or choose our favorite organization and donate to it to get a credit for the state tax. We decided to donate to my daughter’s school.

At school, the vice principal gave me a request form. In the form, they asked me how we would like them to use our donation money. There are three or four options already written, so I marked the field trip for my daughter’s class.

***

On the next day, my daughter’s class teacher shared the information with her class that we donated for their field trip. The class said thank you to my daughter. They are all excited for a field trip.

Her school does not have a field trip every year. At the kindergarten, there was no field trip. At the first grade, they went to the local pumpkin field. At the second grade, they went to the local high school and had some presentation and games. At the third grade, no field trip. Now at the fourth grade, we gave them an opportunity.  

I didn’t know until now that their field trip fully depends on the fund. I decided to keep donating to my daughter’s school to make their field trip happen.

I read a book しいたけ.の12星座占い　過去から読むあなたの運勢.

It was my first time to read this author’s book. I liked how he explains things in his way. I can tell from his writing style that he is pretty smart.

I think this author is around my age, maybe slightly younger than I. He mentioned he has lived through three different eras; Showa, Heisei, and Reiwa.

In his image, he feels Showa as red, Heisei as yellow, and Reiwa as silver-ish yellow.

I never thought of that. I thought he got that right. Now I totally agree with him.

I lived Showa era for my first 19 years. I left my parents’ house started living by myself when I was 22 years old. Thus, my Showa years are the memories of living with my parents. Considering that, yes, I do agree my Showa years were the energy of color red. I was energetic. I was outgoing and always on the fighting mode. I was always challenging something. I was surrounded by male energy.

My Heisei years were the 30 years of my age of 19 to 48. Again I agree my energy was switched to yellow. I started recognizing true myself and gradually started showing my uniqueness.

My Reiwa era has just started from my age of 49. I like the silver-ish yellow. To me, it seems like pursuing spirituality with keeping my uniqueness.

I have lived three different eras so far. I definitely like the current era the most. This era will be my favorite era in my life.  

I had an appointment with a new massage therapist this morning. I have been searching for the right massage therapist who exactly matches to my preference.

My preference is like this.

I want to have a massage therapist, or any other people who deal with my healing such as doctors, to be spiritual. I want them to fully believe in my own natural self-healing ability. I want them to fully believe that I will heal myself soon. I want them to know they are there for me to encourage and support me for the natural healing process. I don’t want to hear any negative information from them.

While browsing around massage therapists in the local area, I run into her official website.

One thing caught my eyes in her website is about her meditation session. She offers a group meditation session every week. I had a good feeling about it. The only downside of her website is the face picture of the massage therapists. In the picture she does not look friendly; to be honest, she looks kind of cold-hearted (maybe trying to look professional). But you never know. Meeting in person will tell me much more. So, I went ahead to make an appointment of a 30-minute free counseling session. 

***

My appointment time was 10 a.m. I arrived at her office at the right on the time.

She greeted at the office door. We looked into our eyes and shook hands with smiling.

My first impression about her was pretty good.

After a small conversation with her, I felt good. She might be the right massage therapist for me.

I made an appointment for a 90-minute massage session with her on February 19^th.

I was a bit surprised to see how short our conversation was. It was still 10:13 a.m. when I arrived at my car in the parking lot. So, our conversation was only about 10 minutes, instead of a 30 minute appointment. I felt we had enough talk for our first meeting though.

I look forward to having her massage therapy on my next appointment.

I had lunch with four Japanese women. One is my long-term friend, and she introduced me to other three Japanese women.

I knew that there are many Japanese women living in our local city and that they have a Japanese community. I don’t like gathering with a whole bunch of people.

When I was still new to this land, I had participated the Japanese community several times. The community consisted of twelve Japanese women. I never felt comfortable being in the big group. Because I didn’t want them to think bad about me, even though I didn’t enjoy participating to the community, I forced myself to be there. By the time when I was so exhausted being in the big group, I finally could ask all the community members to omit me from the group. Since then, I never participated to the community.

For the absence of these past eleven years, I heard from people that most of them are not here in this local area anymore. They already moved to somewhere.

That was why I thought to give it a try again to participate to Japanese community again. This time though, I wanted to go to a small number of group.  

Today’s people were nice people. But I don’t think any of them were interested in making a close friend with anybody. I didn’t fully enjoy being in the group. Maybe, my subtle feeling is the right answer for me. I should follow my intuition. I will stop participating to this community.

Once I made my decision, I am feeling good.

My daughter likes to go to the planetarium. So, we purchased annual membership to visit them. The membership will expire at the end of this month.

Recently they started one new show on Sunday afternoon. We wanted to watch the show before our membership expires.

The show was Legend of the night sky. The target audience is set to young audience. I expected the show would be animation, but it was actually a lease show. The show was okay, but not great as I expected.

On the way to the planetarium, we saw the sign of Gem Show. We should have swing by there. We went there three years ago and fully enjoyed walking around the event venue.

I talked with my mom on the phone yesterday. I worried my mom would depart in any time soon. My family spirits answered to my concern. In my dream of this morning, a male figure told me that my mom is still alive. It also told me my mom would be fighting in this physical world for a while.

***

I came back to my house in America late at night of this Sunday. Today, almost one week has passed. Until today, my body had been still confused by the influence of jet lag.

In my recent trip in Japan, I never got constipation. I released healthy stool every morning at 6 am. That was good for me.

However, after I came back to my house in America, my regular habit was messed up for a while. I used to have a good habit of releasing healthy stool at 6 a.m. every morning. For the past five days the release time was changed to 2 p.m. of local time, which is equal to 6 a.m. of Japanese time.

This morning my regular habit finally came back. My body finally got over from the influence of jet lag from my recent trip.    

Before I left my parents’ house in my recent visit, they asked me to call them at least once a week. My Friday evening 6 p.m. is their Saturday morning 10 a.m. So, we set this as our regular conversation time.

When I called, my mom picked up the phone. The first word she said was my name. She was crying calling my name over and over again, just like a little girl.

She sounded exhausted. She told me she gets weaker day by day. Every day she faces at a shocking fact. Yesterday she could fasten a button, but today she could not do so anymore. In such way, every day, one by one, she adds up something that she used to be able to do, but now she can’t.

I remember at the last moment with my mom in their house. She called my name over and over again and cried. It sounded like a little girl calling her mom for help.

My mom does not have any memories of her mom. Her mom passed away when my mom was only five years old. Her mom got a heart attack and passed away right away from it. Since my mom grew up without memories of her mom, she projected her mom into me. This habit of hers got stronger as she got aged.

What my mom needs and asks for the most is a mother figure who can give her comfort.