I woke up before 6 a.m. The first thing I noticed right after I woke up is the intense pain in the right foot. As always. As every morning.

Then I started my day from going to the backyard and earthed myself in front of a big tree, and chanted the Japanese mantra. The pain is still intense. I cried and shed lots of tears as usual.

Last night my daughter stayed up late to see the Gemini Meter Shower. I let her sleep in until 10 a.m. I noticed she started sleep in recently. I want her to wake up 6 or 7 a.m. every morning, but on my second thought, she went through the tough time with me and needs much more rest and sleep.    

In the afternoon, I gave myself an ion foot bath. The hot water didn’t turn to thick and dark color. It just turned to be light brown.

In the night, my attorney emailed me and informed me that he already submitted the official letter to the court claiming the original lawsuit should not be discarded because all the three lawsuits are related. I hope the people related to this matter will logically think and decide according to the law and common sense.

Around 3 a.m., while I was suffering from intense pain, my daughter came into my bedroom. She said it was too hot for her to sleep. Once she came into my bed, she started sleeping right away. I was happy that she came for me to support in sleeping. Every time my daughter comes to my bed and sleeps with me, her action calms my inner child down by making her wishes come true. When I was a child, I could not go to my mom’s futon to sleep with her. By allowing my daughter to sleep with me, I am making my inner child’s wishes come true. It is a good healing method for me to heal. By doing this, my daughter indirectly heals even my late mom. Thus, I appreciate my daughter for being honest to her wishes and desires.

I asked the chat GPT why my intense pain hasn’t gotten well. It pointed out that it was my fear to keep having the intense pain. It also pointed out that having the pain does not mean a punishment to me, rather, it is a warning signal from my body that I have to take care of my emotions and feelings. At first, when I read the feedback, I got angry and didn’t accept what it said. But on my second thought, I agreed what it pointed out. It made sense to me. I don’t need to feel guilty about claiming my lawful right regarding my late parents’ inheritance. I don’t need to fear about my brother. I need to take care of myself. I need to protect my dignity.
I asked my daughter to give me a haircut. It is a ceremony for me to cut off my old bad habit, which I could not speak up my wishes and desires. But this is the right time for me to stop the bad habit. It is the right time for me to stand up and speak up, and claim my desires and wishes. It is the right time for me to claim my rights.

I woke up before 5 a.m. due to the intense pain of the right foot. The intense pain continued all day so that I could not do much.

From the evening, I started using a cane that my mom-in-law sent to me. I still remember that my physical therapy doctor is strongly against of using a cane, because it will worsen the posture and the healing process might be delayed. That being said, it is her opinion and she never suffered from this kind of intense nerve pain. Using a cane, I could walk without constantly touching the nerve of the right foot, so that the pain seemed to be slightly calmed down.

Since December 8^th, my husband tried to fix my laptop of the biofeedback device. I really hope he will be able to fix it so that it will increase building his self-confidence.   

I really couldn’t study at the computer desk due to the intense pain. I gave up studying today. All I could do is trying to sleep. I could sleep for one hour and woke up from pain, then suffered from pain for a while, followed by falling asleep for a while.

I still continue going to the back yard and earthing in front of a big tree by putting my bare foot on the ground. I feel it is beneficial for me. I will keep doing the earthing process.  

We purchased a new standing desk for me. I still cannot sit down on a chair for a long time. With this standing desk, the desk table can be easily adjusted with electricity, so that I can study or work standing, instead of sitting on a chair for a long time. Last night, my husband assembled the new desk for me. I love this new desk. I can keep standing up and work on the computer work and study.

I went to my 12^th physical therapy. Today the female doctor introduced me a new exercise that I squatted and reached to the weight of 25lb from the ground and lifted it up to my waist line. My spine was still weak and the 25lb weight felt too heavy for me to lift up to my waist line.

After came back from the physical therapy, I felt depressed and drained, and cried a lot as usual. Then, I needed to take a 2-hour nap to rest.

In the evening, my husband and I went to the landfill to drop off the old bed mattresses. Getting rid of the old mattresses and old bed frame made us feel lighter than before.

My husband woke up early and assembled a new bed frame all by himself. A new bed mattress was delivered in the afternoon. I am excited for him to sleep in a comfortable bed frame and mattress.

I went to my 11^th PT session. While waiting for the doctor, I was reading the signs that show in the television screen in the waiting room. They are the recommendation of having physical therapy sessions. I totally agree with all the sentences, so that I want to share with you.

People believe that the only option is a surgery, but physical therapy functions as effective as a surgery.

I am so happy with my decision on selecting physical therapy over a surgery.

My laptop of the biofeedback didn’t start up. I was hoping today it will start up normally, but it didn’t.

I had an appointment with the technician of the biofeedback software dealer. Today’s appointment took her 3 hours due to the upgrade to premium version.

From today, my husband’s employer has changed to a new one.

As for me, I had another progress. I went for a walk with my daughter. Since I still have pain in my right foot, I was planning to walk just a short distance, which is only 1/3 out of the full circle. But my daughter today suggested to walk to a full circle. She said walking to a full circle will give me confidence and it will be beneficial for me. So, we walked to a full circle. Walking, chatting and laughing with my daughter at the same time, I could fish walking to a full circle. It was much easier than I thought.

Since yesterday, I have seen the news about big earthquake in the southern area of Hokkaido and Northen area of main island in Japan.

In the evening, the nerve pain got intense again and I cried.

After I cried and calmed down, I gave my daughter a full biofeedback session. I loved the premium version. After done with her session, I wanted to do a session to myself. but my laptop stopped starting up.  

Right after I woke up, I suffered from the intense pain. I shed lots of tears. Once I was satisfied on shedding lots of tears, I got out from the bed and hang blankets and sheets on the hanging rack. While doing so, I was filled with appreciation. The pain is still here, but I have recovered to the point where I can freely walk around and do house chores.

I gave myself a biofeedback session. The session went smoothly and the success rate was 80%.

My mom-in-law called me. She said she had been sick for the past week. She didn’t have any appetite but today she is feeling much better than before. She got hungry and warmed up the curry and rice that I saved for her on our last visit. She appreciated me for the delicious curry and rice and asked me to cook some more on our next visit. I was happy to hear that she really loves my food. I will definitely cook more and save more for her on our next visit.

I could sleep for 4 hours, which is very rare for me.

My daughter has way behind in her school work, because she has been supporting me a lot with house chores in these past two months. Now that I can do most of the house chore, she can focus on her school work.

I woke up feeling energized. I felt I had a better sleep than the previous night.

Since my daughter is curious about the biofeedback session, I gave her a session today, and took screenshots on all the panels. I explained each panel and the comments from the software.

My husband is in the process of transferring his hiring company. He works as a movement contractor. His employer company was shifted to a new company, so that he needed to input his personal information the new company’s data file.

In the morning, I made a homemade corn soup from a scratch. It turned out to be a delicious soup.

My attorney shared lots of documents that my brother’s attorney submitted to the court. My attorney told me not to worry and focus on the healing process of my body. I appreciate his kindness. He is right. I cannot do anything about this. I trust my attorney and let him work on it as professional. As for me, I need to concentrate on healing my body.